


Milk & Honey

by toomanystoriessolittletime



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Books, Complicated Relationships, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Growing Up Together, Hurt/Comfort, Oblivious, Old Friends, Paparazzi, Past Abuse, Roommates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2021-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:04:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 26,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21902185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toomanystoriessolittletime/pseuds/toomanystoriessolittletime
Summary: Sometimes she wished she was 12 years old again. Living at home with her parents, her best friend just down the street. But she wasn’t 12 years anymore. She was 36 years old, engaged and had no friends. She wasn’t good at anything. Apart from covering up the many bruises on her body. So what happens when her best childhood friend somehow gets back into her life?
Relationships: Tom Hiddleston/Original Female Character(s), Tom Hiddleston/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 105





	1. Chapter 1

She never knew when he would be home again. Sometimes he came back straight after work. Sometimes he went out and ignored her completely. That was until he got back home. Drunk. She hated those nights.

He claimed to love her. He showered her with gifts. And he always apologized. But she couldn’t forget the one time he slapped her across the face. Or the one time, he pushed her out of his way and she fell into the glass table. Or the names he called her. Or the many times after that.

Still. Even after all he did. She still loved him. In a very weird and twisted way. She even said yes when he asked her to marry him. She still wasn’t sure if it was a reflex or if she really wanted to. She didn’t want to spend her life in constant fear of how he might react to some situation.

But until she knew, what she wanted, she made sure to cover up the bruises, and to continue her life like she used to.

“Have you heard about the guy who bought the house next door?” Andrea, one of the other neighbours in her house asked as she met her on her way to work.

“Someone’s moving in?”

“Someone bought the house next door. Haven’t seen him. Rumour has it, he’s an actor.”

“Oh really?” She faked interest.

“Yeah. Maybe it’s James Bond.” Andrea sighed.

“Which one?” She asked.

“You know the latest.”

“Daniel Craig?”

“Yes.”

“Well, we’re going to find out, aren’t we? I have to go. See you around.” She excused herself and went to catch the next tube, before she could hear Andrea’s answer.

Her safe haven was the Waterstones store not far away from her home. Today she took the afternoon off from work and just went there. She needed new reading material. And maybe a scone.

Her fiancé never understood her love for books. And she never understood how he could spent whole days in front of his Xbox. So she read, while he played. And she made sure that he always had a new beer in front of him.

Sighing she browsed through the shelfs. Finally she spotted what she was searching for. “Milk and Honey” by Rupi Kaur. It was the last one. Excited she reached for the book, just as another hand came into her view, reaching for the same book. Slowly she turned her face to stare down whoever was intending to steal this book from her, only to be greeted with the face of Tom Hiddleston.

“Duchess?” Tom asked, Eyes wide.

“Oh my god I haven’t been called that in ages.” She chuckled surprised.

“It’s really you?” The fact that Tom had her book in his hands forgotten.

“Yes. Jesus, how long has it been? 15 years?” She asked, looking at him. His always curly mop of hair now shorter and slicked back. There were wrinkles around his eyes. But the eyes still sparkled like they used to back in the day.

Tom was nearly speechless. And that didn’t happen very often. The book in his hands forgotten, he hugged his old friend tightly. She flinched slightly, and he released her immediately, eying her concerned.

“It’s been more, I think. At least 17. How you’ve been? I haven’t heard anything from you after you went to study in the states.”

The hug surprised her. She always had loved his hugs. They had made her feel safe. She flinched when his arms came around her, the bruises on her arms still fresh, and he released her, eying her concerned.

“I’m good. Life is good. Certainly not as good as to you God of Mischief.” She smiled at him, not wanting to give him an honest answer. He had been her best friend. Always. They practically grew up together, living on the same street. Going to the same school. Being in the same theatre group. But once she went to study in the states, they lost track of each other.

She only moved back to the UK around 3 years ago.

Tom was still looking at her. In his memory she always looked happy. Full of life. But now she didn’t. She looked exhausted. Tired. Maybe even unhappy. The spark in her eyes was gone. What had happened to her?

“Ah well. Have to earn a living somehow.” He smiled at her.

“Tell me about it.” She sighed and looked away from his gaze. Back in the day he could read her like a book. It was like a sixth sense. The day her mother died he just showed up concerned on her doorstep, she was 15 years old and he had been studying already. He drove all the way because he had the feeling, something is wrong. She broke down in his arms as soon as she saw him.

Her attention was back on the book, she had been here for in the first place, that was still in Tom’s hands.

“You wanted to steal my book?” She asked him, eyebrow raised. He shook his head before he answered.

“I’ve been searching for it for ages.”

“Well Mister, me too.” She held her hand out, waiting for him to give it to her.

“Under one condition.” He looked at her.

“Name it.”

“Dinner to catch up? Soon.”

She wanted to say yes immediately. But she couldn’t. She had to talk to her fiancé first. Or better lie. Tell him something came up at work that she couldn’t get out off. Yes. That could work. She really wanted to catch up with Tom. The smile that came across her face, felt like it was the first real one in ages.

She grabbed the book, securing it, as she held it to her chest.

“Is your Bolognese still as good as it has been years ago?”

“Rumour has it, it even improved.” He chuckled. She handed him her business card and scribbled her mobile number on it.

“Then please text me. I need to go.” She grabbed her purse and turned around to pay. Before she left the store, she looked over her shoulder to find Tom still looking at her. She smiled and gave him a little wave before she opened the door and left.


	2. Chapter 2

Tom hated moving. Sure, he was one of the lucky ones who could afford hiring a company to do it for him. But still. He didn’t wanted just some random stranger packing his stuff. So he did it himself. And he had a lot of stuff.

When he imagined moving into a house, he always had in mind that he would do it with someone he loved. The faceless women he kept dreaming about. He desperately wanted her to have a face by now. To have her by his side, when he needed to decide if he liked the grey or the white cabinets for the kitchen. If he wanted a gas stove or not. If the tub in the bathroom was big enough. If the walk in closet would fit her wardrobe.

But yet here he was. 37 years old, dog and house owner. And as single as one can be. And yes, he felt lonely at times. Sometimes he blamed his career. But most of the times he blamed himself.

Ever since his last relationship he had thrown himself to work. Ignoring his health and piece of mind. But he was done with that.

For the next 7 months he would only take care of himself. No work. Just him. And maybe, just maybe, the faceless women he kept dreaming about, would finally get a face.

“So. Everything is in the house. We put all the boxes in the living room, except for the wardrobe, that’s upstairs.” Jerry, one of the movers said to Tom.

“Thank you so much. I never moved that fast in my life.” Tom laughed.

“Well, that’s what we’re here for, Mr. Hiddleston. Enjoy your first night at the new house.”

“I will Jerry. Again. Thank you.”

Tom closed the door behind Jerry and turned around. The silence that followed was soon interrupted by a rather excited Bobby who jumped down the stairs.

“Where have you been?” Tom laughed and stroked his head. Not that he would receive an answer. But he had the suspicion, that he would find some of Bobby’s fur on his new bed.

“Come on. Let’s go for a walk and pick up some Chinese food, so I can start with the boxes.”

He was in the middle of unpacking the fifth box of books (still 10 more to come) when he heard glass breaking. Bobby’s head suddenly looked into the direction of the house next to Tom’s. Head shaking he continued sorting out his books, when Bobby got up and ran into the kitchen. Tom could hear glass breaking again. Finally he walked and followed Bobby, who was sitting in front of the kitchen window, that faced the house next to his.

Tom couldn’t see anything on the other side. There were no lights on in any window.

“Come on Bobby. I think it’s time or bed.” He picked the dog up and got up the stairs to sleep in his new bed for the first time. Alone.

She had been careful when she picked up the pieces of the glasses he had thrown at her. Still, she cut herself. Thankfully he was in bed now. She would take the guest bedroom this night. Breathing in deep through her nose, she succeeded in keeping the tears from running.

Never had he thrown something at her. The second glass only shattered at the wall inches beside her head. She could, even in his drunk state, see the shock on his face as he had realized what he just had done. After she took care of shards, she got out and sat with a glass of wine on the balcony. There was still light in the house next door. She could see parts of a bed. She remembered Andrea talking about a new neighbour. Drinking her wine she looked out into the night sky. She could almost see some stars tonight. She missed the stars. London was a beautiful city. But sometimes she wished she was back in Suffolk. On the beach. Watching the stars with all of her friends by her side.

She still couldn’t believe she met Tom today. In a bookstore. On the other hand, where else would he be?

When she had left to study in the states all these years ago, she was excited for all the new things happening in her life. Tom had called her weekly in the beginning. And they had wrote letters. But once he got into RADA and she got her first job after college, the calls got less and less.

The letters stopped at some point and she had to make peace with the fact, that hey had grown apart. And not just distance wise. She found new friends. Met her fiancé. Had a career.

But in all that time she missed her best friend.

The light going out in the house next to hers snapped her out of her thoughts. She could hear the window being opened and saw a shadow at the window looking out. She couldn’t make out a face. But then again she really wasn’t interested in her new neighbour.

Enjoying the silence for a little while longer she emptied her wine glass, before she went to bed.

The smell of coffee waked her on the next morning. Slowly she sat herself up, and could hear the faint sounds of the radio. Sighing she sat herself up. She ran her hand through her mess of hair. She needed a shower. Looking at her arms she saw that the bruises around her wrists where almost gone. _But for how long?_ She asked herself.

A knock on her door startled her.

“Are you awake, Princess?”

“Yeah. Gimme a second. I’ll be right out.”

“Take you time. Breakfast is waiting if you’re ready.” She heard him walk away and threw her head back. Things needed to change. And quickly.

Her phone next to her blinked and showed a new message from a unknown number.

_Duchess. Dinner today, say 6 pm at my new place? I just moved in and it is a mess but the kitchen is fully stocked. _

She wanted to write him back immediately. But first she had to talk.

_He must feel really guilty_, were the first thoughts she had, when she walked towards the kitchen. The whole place was tidy and the smell of pancakes floated through the room. She sat down at the table which had various breakfast supplies spread all over it. Next to her were white roses. She shook her head slightly. He would probably never learn that she hated roses. But she appreciated the effort.

A cup of coffee was set down in front of her.

“Just how you like it, with only a hint of cream.” He sat down across from her, eyeing her carefully. She still hadn’t said a word. And she didn’t like her coffee with cream. She liked it with a bit of milk and two spoons of sugar. But honestly, she preferred tea. Black. With milk. But that was another topic.

Sighing she reached for the glass of water, and saw him flinching when he noticed the faint bruises on her arms.

“You should see the ones on my ribs.” She said quietly, as she put one of the pancakes on her plate. As she looked up at him, she saw in his green eyes that he was sorry. But all the words and gifts in the world, couldn’t make her forget that she had almost been hit by a glass. From the hands of her fiancé.

“Princess, I’m…”

“So sorry. I know.” She interrupted him. She set her fork down. She knew the person who sat on her breakfast table, sweatpants and t shirt. His dark blonde hair a wild mess. She loved him. She really did. Because of the moments she had with him, when he was sober.

“You’re always sorry. When you’re sober. You need to stop drinking. I can’t continue like this. I’m scared going home. I’m scared being at home. I can’t keep doing this.”

“I’ll try to control it.”

“No. You need to stop. No more alcohol. I love you. But if you don’t stop the drinking, I will leave you. Not right away. But… Imagine coming home scared. Do you know what it does to someone? How can you live with the fact that you hurt the person you’re supposed to love the most? I…” She didn’t want to cry. She really didn’t. But she always did, when she got angry. And the anger had only touched the surface.

“Princess…”

“No. No.” She got up from her seat, the breakfast forgotten. She could see him getting smaller with every word she said.

“You could have killed me yesterday.” She whispered as she turned around and went to the bedroom, closing the door behind her. She needed a shower. Grabbing some clothes she got into the bathroom and locked the door behind her.

When she got out of the bath and dressed herself, he was nowhere to be found. A note on the door.

“_Gone for a walk. Need to think. Don’t wait for me.”_

Head shaking she went to search for her phone. He would probably be home shitfaced and scream at her again. Great.

_Tom. I’m actually free for the whole day. So if you have me, I could come over like… now? I could bring breakfast._

She texted him and began cleaning the kitchen. He really did put in the effort. But she had to stop finding excuses for his behaviour. Her phone began to ring. It was Tom.

“You had me at breakfast.” He said sleepily as she picked up.

“Are you still in bed?”

“Technically I’m in bed again. Bobby decided to wake me at 6 am to go for a walk.”

“And Bobby is…”

“Oh. My dog.” He laughed, rubbing his eyes.

“You have a dog?” She smiled, packing the various breakfast items in containers to take them with her.

“About 2 years now, yes.”

“Aww. Okay. I’m packing something for him too.”

“You made breakfast and you will bring it with you?” He asked.

“Technically I didn’t. It’s a long story.”

“Well. If you really want to spend the day here, dear Duchess, I won’t argue with you.” He named her his address and she repeated it. Suspiciously.

“That’s right. How long do you think you need? I need to get showered and dressed first.” Tom asked. She chuckled and got out on her balcony. She looked down to the window, she saw light in yesterday. She could see a feet hanging from the bed.

“Tom. Get out of bed.”

“I intend to.”

“No. Now. Get to the window and look up.”

“I’m really don’t want my new neighbours to see me naked. Yet.”

“You sleep naked?”

“Couldn’t find the box with my underwear last night.” He sighed.

“Okay. That’s to much information. Just… get up. I’m standing on the balcony at the other house above your bedroom window.”

She was met with silence on the other end of the line, until she heard sheets shuffling. Seconds later Tom stood by the window, bedsheets around his hips, looking up.

She waved down, smiled and shouted. “Hello Neighbour.”


	3. Chapter 3

Tom really couldn’t believe his eyes, as he looked up.

“What are the odds…?” He asked

“Maybe we should try our luck at the lottery.” She chuckled.

“Maybe. Well. Okay. I’m gonna head to the shower right now. Give me 15 minutes?” He asked, still looking out of the window, where she still was standing.

“Sure. I’ll be right over. Oh and Tom?”

“Yes?”

“Maybe get some curtains.” She laughed and ended the call, going back inside her apartment. 

As she was packing the last containers to take to Tom’s in her kitchen, she began to wonder, if Tom showing up in her life after so much time had passed, was some sort of sign. Sure she had some friends, but no one she really could talk to. She didn’t know, if Tom could be that person again. The person you call at 2 am and moan over what happened that day. The person that helped her, no matter at what costs. Who would show up randomly, just because he felt like it. She shook her head. Her fiancé should be that person. The fiancé she didn’t wanted to come home too. At least not on days where he was drunk.

Sighing she looked around. All of this had started when they had moved from the States to London. It was his Job that brought them to the UK. He had never lived outside of the states and she had been so excited to finally get home. She had wanted to show him around. Show him her favourite places. But she never did. They had been living here for almost two years and he never wanted to go out. At one point she had just stopped asking. Maybe he would quit the drinking. Maybe she would get the chance to take him to a museum. Maybe.

10 minutes later she was standing in front of a impressive looking black door, silver handle. She could hear barking coming closer and a numbed voice calling for Bobby. Smiling to herself she waited for he door to open.

“Sorry. Someone is very excited to have a new guest to get belly rubs from.” Tom excused himself, as soon as the door opened.

“Good morning to you too.”

“Good morning.” He smiled at her, and took the basket she had packed from her and stepped to the side, to let her in.

Fascinated she stepped into his house. Original wood floors and high ceilings. The hallway was painted in a light blue, a big mirror with silver frame on the wall. It felt like she had been here before, and she immediately felt at home.

Tom had closed the door and leant with his shoulder at it, watching his friend being fascinated by the hallway.

“Wait till you see the rest of it.” He said quietly and smiled, as she turned around to him in awe.

“But first, breakfast.” He held the basket up, and motioned for her to follow him. Boxes were standing everywhere and he wasn’t kidding when he warned her of pure chaos.

As she entered his big kitchen, she saw a ball of fur running towards her.

“Bobby!” The stern voice of Tom stopped the dog, who immediately looked at him, before carefully looking back at her, his tail wiggling.

“You’re not afraid of dogs, aren’t you? I probably should have asked you before I invited you over.” He set the basket down on his kitchen table.

“Nope.” She was already walking towards Bobby, kneeling down in front of him.

“Well then, go ahead. This is Bobby. Bobby, this is the Duchess.” Tom stood and watched as Bobby finally got what he wanted. A new human to cuddle. It didn’t take long for Bobby to lay completely on her lap and she genuinely laughed. For the first time in what felt like forever.

“I see you two are best friends now?” Tom had been watching the two of them with a smile.

“Well yes. Nobody ever welcomed me like that. I could get used to that.” She said, as she stroked the dog behind his ear. Something about Bobby calmed her down.

“Good thing, that you’re living next door then.” Tom grinned and began to unpack the basket.

“Were you planning something? Pancakes?” Tom was searching for the tea kettle. There was no way there would be no tea for breakfast.

“I told you, it’s a long story.” She said, as she opened all the containers she brought.

“I have time. To be exact I have no plans at all for the next months, so please, if you want to talk about it, I’m here for you.” Tom looked at her honestly, before he finally spotted the tea kettle. Putting some water in, he walked back, and sat down at the table, taking a bite from the pancakes.

“Let’s just say, my fiancé and me had a fight last night, and he wanted to make up with this breakfast.” Tom stopped and looked at her.

“The fact that you are sitting here with me, and not with him, doesn’t sound very positive to me.” He said. She looked at him for a long time, deciding what to say next.

“Well we both needed time to think. Things got a little complicated ever since we moved here.” She picked a strawberry from a plate and put it in her mouth. The tea kettle was ready and Tom walked to the two cups he had prepared.

“Earl grey with milk still your poison?” Tom asked, as he filled the cups with water.

“Wow. You don’t forget anything, do you?” She asked surprised and thanked him, as he handed her her cup.

“After the amount of tea we drank together, I don’t think I could ever forget how you like yours.” He winked at her.

“Okay. Probably true. But that was before you became some big movie star with a horde of fangirls.” She teased.

“You know it’s not only fangirls, there are some fanboys too.”

“Oh. Please accept my sincerest apologies.” She laughed.

“No but seriously. You always dreamed of it. Become an actor. Working with Kenneth Branagh. You must be over the moon.”

“I am.” The smile he gave her didn’t really reach his eyes.

“And you? I googled the firm, after you gave me your card. Impressive.”

“Ah stop.” She blushed.

“Are you kidding me? You work as a literary agent for one of the biggest publishing offices in the whole country.” Tom looked at her like she had grown a second head. Wasn’t she proud of herself?

“It’s nothing. It’s just a job.”

“Don’t you enjoy it?”

“I love it.” She answered right away.

“Then be proud of what you achieved. You wanted to work for a publishing office for as long as I can remember. You even reviewed my essays. You were born for this job.” Tom continued.

“Tom…” She tried to interrupt him, but he kept talking. She couldn’t remember the last time, someone has been so invested in her being happy. She was happy with her job. But she didn’t make a big deal out of it. She had been so happy, when she was accepted only to found out she would be making more money than her fiancé. They had a big fight the day he found out. That’s why she chose to not to talk about work, outside of work.

“Tom…” She tried again, he still didn’t stop talking. She chuckled to herself as she got up and just hugged Tom. He finally stopped talking, and his arms closed around her, pulling her close to him.

“Thank you Tom.” She whispered, her head in the nape of his neck.

“What for?” He asked softly. Something was bothering his friend.

“For being here.” She let go of him and go back to her seat.

It was past lunchtime when they finally got up from the kitchen table. They had a lot to talk about. He told her about how drastically his life changed after he had been cast as Loki. She still could remember seeing him on the big screen at the cinema. Nobody believed her, she grew up with him. She told him about how hard it was in the beginning in the states. But how she grew to love it with the years. Still, England was her home. She also told him about how she met her now fiancé 3 years ago. She obviously let out all of the stuff that happened once they had moved back here.

And Tom told her about his last relationship. She had read about it in some celebrity magazine, but back then didn’t really give it a second thought. But now, seeing him talk about it, she could see how heartbroken he really was.

“So… Where to start?” She asked after the kitchen was cleaned.

“What do you mean?” Tom asked her, an eyebrow raised.

“You just moved in. Let me help you get rid of the boxes.” She explained.

“You don’t have to…” He began.

“Oh please. I need something to do, otherwise I keep thinking about what happened this morning. So… Where is your Golden Globe?” She pursed her lips innocently, reading the descriptions of the boxes. Tom laughed behind her.

“I have no idea. But maybe we will find my underwear.”

“Ugh gross.” She giggled, as she walked to the wall full of shelves.

“Books?” She gestured to the many boxes in front of it.

“Yes. I started yesterday.” She looked at the two full shelves.

“Well… Guess we get started then. Any particular order?”

“Uhm the alphabet?”

“Greek?” She teased and tried to hide a grin.

“Ha ha. Very funny. No. The English alphabet. Thank you very much.”

“Good. My greek is a little rusty.” She giggled and got out the first books and put them on the shelves.

“How can one person have so many books?” They were at box 9 and there were at lest 5 to go.

“I mean I know you liked to read but…”

“Like, Duchess. And I have read every book at least twice which is in that shelf.”

“You could be my private library.” She said.

“You can borrow what you want. I know where you live.” He put some books in the highest shelf, stretching up so he could reach it. She couldn’t help to let her view wander over his lean back. He looked over his shoulder, catching her gaze and smirked.

“Were you always this tall?” She asked, before he could say something. She totally didn’t check him out. Nope.

“I think I have been yes.” He grinned.

Bobby decided this was the perfect moment to make himself noticeable. He jumped up her knees, and she leant down to take him in her arms, forgetting the bruised rip. Grimacing she breathed in deeply, which didn’t make the pain any better. Tom was by her side in seconds, looking at her concerned.

“You’re alright?” He asked, taking Bobby from her arms and setting him down.

“Ah yes. I fell… up the stairs last week and kind of bruised my rip. It doesn’t always hurt.” She lied, looking down at her feet and continued to breathe.

“Come sit down. If I had known, you had a bruised rip I would have tied you to the couch.” His arm came around her shoulder, guiding her to the couch. She sat down and Tom came back with a glass of water only seconds later. He carefully sat down next to her, handing her the glass.

“Thank you.” She smiled and took the glass from him, to drink some of it.

“We could also just watch a movie? I need to start on the bolognese soon anyway.”

“Tom. Please. I am perfectly fine. We still haven’t found your underwear. Or your golden globe.” She smiled. She had become quite the actor too in the last years. Nobody ever had suspected anything was wrong with her.

Tom looked at her. Something was bothering him about how she just downplayed this.

“I can also just go home, if you want me to.” She almost whispered.

“Oh no. No. You don’t have to. I like having you here. Just… be careful. I don’t want you to hurt.”

“I will be.”

“Okay… So…” He looked around.

“You could help me unpack my clothes?”

“Ah. Every girls dream.” She carefully got up from the couch. Tom walked passed her, running up the stairs. Urgh stairs.

“Just.. Go ahead. Stairs are a bitch these days.”

Tom was standing, patiently waiting for her at the top of the stairs.

He showed her around. His office, his guest room, his bathroom.

“Ah that’s it. I’m staying.” She said, looking at the bathtub with would easily fit 3 people.

He chuckled behind her.

“Mom said something similar.”

“Oh… How is she? And your dad? And.. your sisters?”

“All perfectly fine. Dad lives in Scotland. Mum is in Suffolk. Emma is actually coming over tomorrow and Sara lives with her husband abroad.”

“Busy busy.” She said. Tom nodded.

“What about your family.”

“Nobody’s around anymore.”

“I’m so sorry.”

She shrugged. “It’s been 10 years. I have my fiancé.”

“No friends?”

“Well I have some work colleagues. But I don’t really get out much.” She turned away from him, walking down the hall. If Tom wouldn’t know, that this was the same person who had demanded to go on a roadtrip just because she felt like it, he would think this woman was a complete different person.

He followed her, as she stopped in front of the last door.

“Bedroom?” She asked. He nodded and opened the door. She didn’t know what she expected, but she certainly didn’t expect the room to be so bright. The bed, still unmade, could easily fit 5 people. On the other hand, Tom was a tall man. He needed a big bed. The walls were painted in a light green. The furniture white.

“Please tell me the name of your Interior designer. It’s beautiful.”

“I actually did all the planing myself.” He said, almost shy.

“You did not.” She turned around to look at him. He was biting his lip and nodding slowly.

“Well Thomas, if the acting thing gets boring sometime…” She winked.

“Oh my god.” She nearly shrieked.

“What? Underwear?”

“Noooo…” Carefully she unwrapped the Helmet from it’s box. In her hands was Loki’s helmet.

“Did you steal these?” She asked fascinated.

“No. I actually got them after Ragnarok.” He grinned, as he watched her. She bit her lip and turned fully to him.

“I…”

“Oh go ahead.” He laughed, and she put the helmet on her head. She walked out of the wardrobe and looked at herself in the mirror.

“It’s heavy. But fashionable.”

“Imagine wearing this for 5 hours.”

“Oh you poor movie star.” She sighed, still looking at herself in the mirror. It was like another person was looking at her. She actually looked happy. Biting her lip she put the helmet down and swallowed. Tom noticed the change in her demeanour. She genuinely looked happy there for a second. The timer on his phone got off.

“Ah… Need to check the sauce. You okay up here?”

“Yes I am. Go check on dinner.” She said, walking back into his wardrobe.

It was past 10 pm when she left Tom’s. He insisted on bringing her home and she had just rolled her eyes, as he walked her to her door. Ever the gentlemen.

Now she was standing in front of her apartment door. Breathing in deep, she put the keys in the lock and opened the door. Everything was dark. She wondered if he was home yet. Maybe he got so drunk, that he had went to bed right away.

Switching on the lights in the living room, she noticed a note on the table.

_Princess. _

_I can’t stand the person I’ve become. _

_I don’t want to hurt you any more._

_I love you._

Confused she read the lines for what feels like 15 times, before she put it down and walked towards the bedroom. Going straight for the dresser with his clothes. Empty.

Shaking she sat down on the bed, staring at the wall. She couldn’t help the tears, that were running down her face. She let herself fall back to the bed, bringing her legs up to her chest as much as possible. Did he leave her? Just like that? Without actually talking to her?

Sobbing she put the blanket over her body. It smelled like him, which made the tears run even more. And still she couldn’t help the last thought, before she fell asleep being, that her fiancé didn’t know how she liked her tea. But her friend, who she hadn’t seen in 20 years could still remember it.


	4. Chapter 4

It was 3 days later, when Tom began to grew worried. Sure, he only had been back in contact with her for a couple of days, but hearing nothing at all to his messages to her, was concerning. And not only for the fact, that he could see his messages had been read by her.

Sitting at his kitchen table, eating some porridge for breakfast, he looked out of the window, up to where she lived. Maybe she had a stressful week at work. He didn’t wanted to be intruding by catching her off guard, just standing in front of her door. Maybe she got over the argument with her fiancé. Tom wanted to meet him. She hadn’t talked much about him. He wanted to make sure he was a decent guy.

Groaning he let his head fall back in to his neck and sighed.

How could it be, that 20 years went by without them seeing each other and still he jumped right back into the role of her best friend? Her protector?

His sister had been over the moon when he told her, that the Duchess was back. Emma had always looked up to her. She couldn’t wait to see her. Emma was also the one who suggested Tom to invite her over for his home warming party in two weeks. Not that he had planned inviting her anyway.

It was late afternoon, when he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was seriously wrong. He kept thinking if he had forgotten something. He even called Luke and his mother but they couldn’t help him. Looking at his dog beside him sitting on the couch he tipped nervously with his fingers on his thigh. He hadn’t forgotten anything. But he couldn’t shake off the feeling that something was wrong. And the only thing that was on his mind, was her.

“Come on Bobby. I’m taking you on a walk, and then we’re gonna stop by to check on her.”

It had to be a rule in the universe. Everytime Tom forgot an umbrella it started raining. There was no exception to the rule today. Tom ran the last couple of meters and came to stand in front of the neighbour house. Bobby was shaking off the rain. The bad feeling Tom had felt the whole day only grew worse, so he was searching for her name when the door opened. A young woman stepped out, an umbrella in her hand. She turned to walk past him, catching his gaze. It never seized to amaze Tom, when he saw the moment in the faces of complete strangers when they recognized him.

“Uhm… Can I help you?” She asked blinking.

“If you live in this building, maybe.” He smiled. Tom could see her blushing before she nodded.

“I’m searching for a friend. She lives in this building.” Tom gave her the name.

“Oh yes. 3rd Floor, left apartment. I don’t know if she’s home. Usually she should be at work.”

“Thank you.” He smiled. Bobby barked next to him. He could see the struggle of the woman. She probably wanted to ask for a picture. Or autograph.

“It was nice meeting you, Mr. Hiddleston.”

“Likewise.” He nodded and stepped into the building.

Bobby seemed to know where to go, because he was sitting in front of the left apartment on the third floor, when Tom finally made it up the stairs. He read her name on the door. Breathing in deep, he knocked twice and waited. Bobby scratched at the door, when nothing happened. Tom knocked again, and he could hear a dumb noise from the other side of the door.

“I know you’re in there. Open the door.” He called.

You know that feeling, when you want to cry, but you’re out of tears? It burns in the eyes. Like you would try to cry acid. Whimpering she pushed herself up from the bed. It was Tuesday. She hadn’t left the bed in 3 days. She called in sick for the first time in two years. Thankfully her boss was understanding and told her to stay home for the whole week.

She hadn’t heard anything from her fiancé. Or was it ex-fiancé now? Shaking she pulled the blanket closer to her body. She needed a shower. Badly. And something to eat. She knew that. You can’t survive on crisps and cold coffee. She didn’t even had the energy to make herself some tea.

Looking out of the window into the cloudy sky she sighed. Why did it hurt so much? He had treated her like dirt whenever he was drunk. He had hit her. Screamed at her. Called her names. And still, it hurted so much. Because she still loved him. And then he left her. Not the other way around. If she was honest with herself, she would probably never have left him. Pushing her head face first into the pillow she shook her head.

She didn’t hear the knock on her door first. Finally she had gotten up and was searching for something to wear when she catched a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She looked like hell. Deep dark circles under her eyes and she was as pale as a sheet of paper. Her hair was one big nest on top of her head. Swallowing she opened the first drawer of her dresser to search for some fresh underwear. On her way to the bathroom she heard scratching on her door, followed by a knock. She stumbled over the carpet in the hallway, silently cursing to herself.

“I know you’re in there. Open the door.” She recognized Tom’s voice. Closing her eyes and breathing in deep she slowly walked over to her apartment door.

“I’m okay Tom. Please.. just… I’ll call you tomorrow.” She said through the closed door.

“I’m not leaving until I can see for myself that you’re okay, Darling.” He said lowly. He must be standing close to the door. She could hear the scratching at the door again.

“Bobby also wants to make sure you’re okay.” He nearly whispered. She had to smile at that.

Leaning with her forehead at the door, she breathed in deep, before she opened the door.

Tom knew what the bad feeling he had all day was, as the door opened. She looked like she had cried for days. Dark circles under her eyes. The eyes red and bloated. She was hugging herself in the big hoodie she was wearing. She looked so fragile. She was sucking in her lip, trying to keep herself from crying. He could see some faded bruises on her ankles and on her arms. Tom didn’t know what had happened to her. And he wouldn’t ask her now. Without thinking he stepped inside her apartment, Bobby running past, closing the door behind him, and hugged his friend closely. Her arms were around him in seconds, holding on to him, as if he was the only thing that kept her together. He could feel her shaking, and heard her sob. His heart was breaking for her.

They just stood there in her hallway, hugging each other, until her breathing became steadier. She had closed her eyes and only inhaled Tom’s still familiar scent. It was fascinating to her that still after such a long time, he still smelled like the ocean to her. Like home. Sighing she finally looked up to him. His eyes were full of concern.

“I need to take a shower.” She whispered. He eyed her cautiously.

“You can wait here. I don’t know what is left in the kitchen but please help yourself.” She continued. He nodded.

Biting her lip she stepped out of his embrace and felt cold immediately. Swallowing she gave him a hint of a smile before she went to the bathroom.

Tom looked after her until she closed the door behind her. Breathing out he shook his head. He should have checked on her earlier. But he didn’t know… No. This wasn’t the time for blaming himself.

He finally looked around himself. He was standing in a hallway that was filled with pictures. Not only of people, but of places. Smiling to himself he recognized a picture that he had taken of them both on one of their last days at the beach.

Bobby’s bark from the other end of the apartment made him look away. He followed the noise and found Bobby sitting in the kitchen, next to the fridge.

Tom sighed as he looked around. The kitchen looked like a bomb had exploded. He pulled his jacket off, throwing it over a chair next to the table and rolled up the sleeves of his sweater. Before he could think about food or tea or anything, he had to clean the kitchen.

She didn’t know how long she was in the shower. By the time the water got cold her skin was wrinkled. She kept staring at herself in the mirror on the opposite wall of the big shower. She looked like a dead person walking. Why was this affecting her so much? Shuddering she got out of the shower, drying her skin with a fluffy towel, her hair wrapped in a towel on her head. She starred at her body. And it felt like, she was doing it for the first time in years. All over her body were bruises. The most prominent ones on her ribs. But she could see the fading bruises on her arm, as he had grabbed her, because she didn’t get him a beer quickly enough.

Or the bruises on her ankles, when he had thrown her out of their bed, stating that she was a whore that was only after his money. A sad chuckle escaped her. His money. She had been paying for everything. How could she be this stupid? Head shaking she reached for her bodylotion, massaging it in her dried out skin, before she put on her underwear and the fluffy pink robe.

She heard Tom’s low singing from her kitchen. Oh god. Her kitchen. Suddenly very aware of the fact that she had told him to help himself in the mess she had left behind, she quickly made her way towards it.

She stopped in the door, watching Tom who was standing with his back to her. His sleeves were rolled up and he was in the middle of washing the dishes that apparently hadn’t fit in the now running dishwasher. He was lowly singing along to James Bay’s “Let it go” that ran on the radio. Bobby was laying to his feet, sleeping.

She leant in the door frame, taking this picture in. She had never been more thankful than in this moment, that she ran into him again. A small smile crept to her face. He really was, even after all this years, her best friend. And she wouldn’t be able to repay this ever.

“You didn’t have to do that.” She said as she walked over to him. Tom looked over his shoulder, a warm smile on his face.

“I don’t mind. Sit down. I’m almost finished.”

“Tom I…”

“No. Sit down. A cup of fresh tea is waiting.”

Sighing she walked over to her kitchen table, sitting down and brought the cup to her lips. It was her strawberry tea. She didn’t even know she had something of it left.

“I ordered Pizza. I wanted to cook something but you only have eggs and milk and all I could come up with were pancakes. And you look like you haven’t eaten since I last saw you.”

“You might be right.” She mumbled, enjoying her tea. She felt a paw on her knee and Bobby looked up at her, with his big puppy eyes. Smiling down at him, she patted on her lap, which made Bobby jump up. She immediately began to rub his belly.

When Tom had finished washing the dishes, he washed his hands and turned around to find her and his beloved dog together sitting on the floor. She kept stroking Bobby’s head and Bobby looked like he wouldn’t care if he had to spend the rest of his life like this.

Tom sat down next to her on the floor. She looked up at him quickly without stopping her movements in Bobby’s soft fur.

“He left me.” She whispered after a while. Tom stiffened next to her. He had suspected this, but hearing it from her, her voice close to breaking again, he couldn’t feel anything but anger toward the person who had hurt her so much.

“He didn’t even talk to me. When I got home on Saturday a letter was waiting for me. A fucking letter.” She said. He could hear the frustration in her voice.

“He never called?” Tom asked. She shook her head. Tom’s arm came around her shoulder, and her head dropped to his shoulder. Bobby looked up as she had stopped stroking him. He curled himself together and just lay on her lap.

“The only one who contacted me in the last 3 days was you.” She mumbled.

Carefully Tom reached for her hand, running his fingers over the bruise he had seen earlier. She flinched back.

“I’m sorry.” They both said in union.

“What do you have to be sorry for?” Tom asked her softly. She looked up at him, sucking her lip in.

“I don’t know. It’s a reflex.” She whispered and looked down again.

An hour later they were sitting on her couch, the Pizza almost gone. Tom had made fire in her fireplace. It was a cold day.

She was sitting cuddled next to him. His arm was protectively wrapped around her. Some reality show ran in the background. Tom had his legs propped up on the couch table. He couldn’t remember how many nights they had spend like this, before she moved away. There had even been a time when he had thought they could be more than just friends. But that was a long time ago.

“You know you can talk to me, when you’re ready?” He whispered after a while. It was late and he was tired. But it didn’t felt right to leave her here alone.

When he didn’t get an answer he carefully looked down, to find her fast asleep on his shoulder. Smiling he grabbed the blanket that was laying on her feet and put it around her, before he switched off the TV and closed his eyes, falling asleep himself.


	5. Chapter 5

She woke the next day because something was licking her across her face. Shaking her head and opening one eye she saw Bobby sitting next to her on the floor. Yawning she turned her head and looked up. She must have fallen asleep next to Tom yesterday. Now laying with her head in his lap. One of his arms was still steadying his face, to keep himself from falling to the side, while his other hand rested on her shoulder. He looked so peaceful. Not a wrinkle on his face. Not even the ones around his eyes. He looked like the boy she fell in love with 25 years ago. She didn’t understand it at the time. They had known each other since they were little children. Her mother was the one who had made her understand back then.

“I can feel you starring.” Tom mumbled and yawned before he opened his eyes.

“You look like a sixteen year old, when you’re asleep. Anyone ever told you that?” She asked. Tom chuckled tiredly.

“I don’t think anyone I recently fell asleep with knew me back then.” His hand squeezed her shoulder.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly. She nodded.

“Thank you for coming to look after me.” She said, still looking up at him. The hand that had been laying on her shoulder, came to rest on her cheek, before he carefully leant down and kissed her forehead.

“There’s nothing to thank me for. You’re family.”

Because of the lack of food in her apartment they decided to take Bobby out for a walk in the park, and get breakfast. Bobby was beyond excited as he walked on the leash that Tom had handed her to hold, while he was in his house, quickly changing and looking for an umbrella. She looked up to the sky. It looked like rain today. A perfect day to stay indoors really.

The door behind her opened and she looked up to see Tom holding a big umbrella.

“I’m not getting wet again today.” He decided laughing. He had put on a leather jacket, that kind of matched with the coat she was wearing.

She was still in charge of Bobby, when they strolled down the road. Bobby seemed to know exactly where to go.

“Just a heads up, there is always this one photographer at the park. I can’t do anything about it. If you want to, you can wait at the bakery over there, and I walk with Bobby.” Tom explained.

“Why is there a photographer waiting in the park?” She asked confused.

“Apparently people are very interested in my private live nowadays.” He sighed.

“And a picture will tell them what?”

“Every woman I’m out with is automatically my new girlfriend.”

“Well you’re a busy man, Hiddleston.” She teased, making him laugh.

“You wanna give them something to talk about?” She asked, raising her eyebrow.

“I feel like I’m going to regret saying yes to this.”

“I’m hurt.” She put her hand to her chest dramatically.

“What mischief are you up to, Duchess?” He asked.

There was already an email waiting for him, when he got back home later that day. They had walked with Bobby in the park. Entwined arms and all. When it had started raining they had both squeezed themselves under the umbrella he had brought, his arm around her waist, pulling her close to his side, to keep her from being soaked from the rain. They had went out to get some groceries for her, after they had breakfast. Now, being at home alone, because Bobby had refused to leave her side, he opened the mail Luke had send to him, only with an questionmark.

He clicked himself through the pictures. One after the other looking more like a couple of people, who were in love to the outside. He smiled sadly to himself at a picture with his arm around her waist, kissing her temple as they waited for Bobby to finish his business.

She had began to told him about her ex. How he had changed as they had moved to the UK. Fortunately the picture didn’t show the tears that were running down her face as she talked about him.

“I was wondering…” She looked up from cutting the vegetables as Tom spoke to her. She came back later that day to cook dinner with him. It was the only way for Tom to get his dog back. He still didn’t leave her side.

“Yes?”

“It’s your birthday next week.”

“That’s what you were wondering?” She laughed.

“No… I was wondering if you have planned something?” He asked carefully.

“Well normally I would have spend the day with… Anyway. I have tickets for the ballet at the opera.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve been looking forward to it since I bought the tickets 7 months ago. It’s Romeo and Juliet.”

“Sure it is.” Tom chuckled. She threw a freshly cut piece of zucchini at him. He gasped dramatically.

“Where shall we dine? O me! What fray was here? Yet tell me not, for I have heard it all.” He exclaimed. She began to laugh.

“Here’s much to do with hate, but more with love.” He slowly walked over to her.

“Why, then, O brawling love!” She giggled “O loving hate!” The dramatically said together, erupting in laughter.

“We are such dorks.” She laughed.

“Go with me on Friday? My treat.” She asked as Tom sat down next to her, putting the cut vegetables in a bowl.

“It’s your birthday. My treat.” He winked at her, as he took the bowl and walked back to put them in the pan.

Getting up from her seat to walk over to him, she accidentally threw down her glass, shattering it to a million pieces on the floor.

“Ah. Be careful. Don’t cut yourself.” She heard Tom say, like he was far away. Gripping the edge of the table she closed her eyes, breathing hard.

“Are you okay?” She felt Toms hand on her upper arm and she flinched back, making him eye her concerned.

Tom could see her knuckles turning white, from the amount of force she was gripping the table.

“You’re okay. You’re here at my house. It was just a glass.” He said softly, trying to calm her. Tears were running down her face, and all he wanted to do was hug her, but her flinching away from him made him cautious.

“I’m sorry…” She shakily whispered, taking deep breaths.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” Finally she looked up. Tom was standing in front of her, looking down at her carefully, his eyes capturing hers. He held his hand out and she carefully took it, letting him get her out of the shards on the floor.

When he was sure that she was sitting safely on the chair at his kitchen island he got her a glass of water, which she emptied in one go.

He sat down beside her, watching her like a guard dog.

“He threw a glass at me last week.” She said after a while. Tom’s head rested on his hand, as he listened.

“That was the first time I actually was scared for my life. That was what the argument I told you about was.” She turned to look at Tom. She could see the anger in his eyes.

“I don’t even know when it started. I really love him. Loved? I don’t know. I was so excited to get back here. The states are great, don’t get me wrong, but this. This is home.” He nodded, a little smile on his face.

“He was excited too. At least I think so. We got the flat. Spend 2 weeks buying furniture to make it perfect. And then we got to go to work. I never would have thought him to be a man who has issues with me earning more money than him, but I apparently was wrong with that.” She sighed, unintentionally rubbing her wrists.

“He began to drink more and more. And one night he just slapped me across the face, because I didn’t get him a beer fast enough.” She shook her head, laughing about herself.

“I can’t believe I let him do that to me. Why did I let him do that?” She put her hands in front of her face.

“Because we do the stupidest things for the people we love. And we excuse almost all their behaviour.” Tom said.

“Shouldn’t it be easy? To love someone I mean? Or to be loved?”

“I wish I could tell you.” He smiled. They both sighed.

“Look at us. Single and miserable.”

“Well at least we can be miserable together.” She chuckled.

“That’s true.” He looked at her from his side, as she turned her head to look at him.

“You sometimes wonder, what would have happened, if you had stayed in the UK?” He asked her. Pursing her lips, she looked to the side.

“Well you would have introduced me to Prince William by now and I would really have become a Duchess?”

“Ah yes. I can picture it clearly. You, 3 children and the Queen at tea time.” He chuckled.

“I would have to wear skirts. All. The. Bloody. Time.” She made a face.

“You used to love dressing up.” He said.

“Well yes, because you were my bloody prince. And we were 10.” She laughed, shaking her head. Smiling at the memory of her and Tom getting married at the age of 10.

“We still have to get divorced.” He laughed.

“Ah well. There are worse things than to be married to you Hiddleston. Seriously. You can cook. You clean up after yourself. You have a job that pays the bills and you don’t look that bad.”

“Thank you?” He raised an eyebrow.

“No seriously. I apparently do have issues with standing up for myself, but what’s your deal?”

“Haven’t found the right one yet.” He shrugged.

“Maybe we should set you up on a dating website. Like without a picture so your dozens of fangirls won’t find you.”

“Tried that already.” He admitted.

“You did not!” She looked at him with big eyes.

“Oh I did. I just want some peace and quiet for now.” He got up from his seat, walking over to finish their dinner.

“Well you won’t get very far with peace and quiet with me in your life.” She chuckled. Tom didn’t answer anything to that. But he was beginning to ask himself, if he had ever felt this peaceful before she had stepped into his life again.


	6. Chapter 6

Her week off from work went by in no time and faster than she could think it was already Monday and she was sitting at her desk at work.

There were many manuscripts she had to read through. She was thinking on taking them home and working from there. Now with no one there to interrupt her. She heard a knock on her door and saw Constance leaning in the door frame.

“You’re better. Thank god. It was kinda boring here without you.”

She chuckled. “You’re only saying this, because nobody else here shares our dark humour.”

“You might be right.” Constance smiled and sat down on the chair in front oh the desk.

“What you been up to last week?”

She sighed and looked at Constance over her reading glasses.

“It seems like I’m not engaged anymore.” Constance eyes became big.

“What?”

“We had a big fight and when I came home he was just gone. Only left a note.”

“So you’ve been mopping around feeling miserable for yourself the whole last week? Why didn’t you call?”

“I wasn’t mopping around. Well. Okay. Maybe a little but only 3 days then Tom found me.”

“Tom?”

“Oh.” She laughed. “Yes. My childhood friend I hadn’t seen in almost 20 years accidentally moved into the house next door.”

“Stop.” Constance said.

“I’m serious. And we just kind of continued where we left off all these years ago. It’s like no time has passed at all.”

“This sounds straight out of a cheesy romcom.” Constance made a face.

“Well. It’s not.” She smiled to herself and looked down at her hands. The engagement ring still on her finger. She sighed.

“What do I do with this thing?” She held her hand up, wiggling her finger so Constance could see.

“Sell it and go on a very long luxurious vacation?”

“I can’t do that.”

“Well that’s what I would do. Not to be mean, but I never liked your ex-fiancé. Something about him always seemed… off.”

“You have no idea.” She mumbled more to herself.

After the meeting she packed the 12 manuscripts and her laptop and went home. And she read. Until it got to dark. Looking at the clock she gasped as she saw the time. She had been reading for a good 10 hours. Stretching her muscles she got up from her desk and went over to the kitchen, checking her phone in the meantime.

There was a message from Constance suggesting going out for dinner some time this week. She smiled. Constance was the only person she considered a friend. Well and Tom. And as if he could hear her thoughts her phone vibrated, signaling a message from him.

Well it really was only a photo of Bobby who was laying on the jumper she had forgotten at Tom’s 2 days ago.

“_I think he loves you more than me.” _Said the message. She shook her head.

“_Well maybe you should cuddle him more instead of using all your spare time reading :P”_ She wrote back. She was craving pizza. Thankfully she had some in the freezer. Her phone vibrated again. She chuckled before she put the pizza in the oven and went into her living room.

“_He was just fine with me reading before you got here.”_

“_I’m sorry? :P”_

“_I can see that… Anyway. How was work?”_

“_I brought it home. I have been reading for 10 hours straight. But I couldn’t put the last one down. I think this could become something big.”_

“_Then I won’t interrupt you anymore. By the way, I’m picking you up for dinner at 5:30 pm sharp on friday.”_

“_Okay?”_

“_Yes. I hope you still love Tapas.”_

“_I haven’t had good Tapas in years.”_

“_Well you will have some on friday. Sleep well.”_

“_Good night Tom.” _

The week flew by. She had so much work, that only on Friday morning she came to the realisation, that she didn’t have anything she could wear to the opera. Tom had shown up yesterday evening for a quick visit to tell her, that they probably would be photographed again. Oh and that he forgot to tell her about the housewarming party he would have on saturday which she was obligated to show up to.

When she got to the office she straight away made her way to Constance’s office.

“I have a problem.” She walked into the office, sitting on the couch before the window.

“Okay?” Constance looked at her expectantly.

“I need something to wear to the ballet tonight.”

“You’re going to the ballet?”

“I gifted it to myself for my birthday.”

“It’s your birthday?” Constance almost shrieked.

“Oh. Yes.”

The next moment she found herself in a tight hug. Constance was singing a very fast version of happy birthday.

“You’re not going out alone, aren’t you?”

“Nope. Tom is taking me.” Constance tilted her head to the side.

“This Tom fella… He’s just a friend?”

“Uhm yes?”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing.”

“He’s like a big brother to me. Always has been.”

“I want to meet him some time.”

“Sure. But now. I need a dress.”

“I think I should have something. Maybe just come by my place after work and pick it up?”

“I have to be ready by 5:30 pm sharp.”

“Okay. That’s a bit short… Maybe just get ready at my place? I’m close to the royal opera?”

“That could work. I’ll text Tom to pick me up at your place then.”

“I’m not big on praising myself, but damn you look hot.” Constance said looking at her friend. The dark blue silk dress she borrowed her, was hugging her body like a second skin. Only ending slightly over her knees.

“I’m going to break both of my legs in these heels.” She complained as she looked at herself in the mirror. She couldn’t remember the last time she had spend so much time and effort in getting ready for a night out. But then again, she hadn’t had a real night out in a long time.

“I bet your Tom can keep you on your feet. Well if you want to.” Constance wiggled her eyebrows and smirked.

“Oh ew.” She made a face. She looked at the clock. Almost 5:30 pm. She looked down at her hands again. The engagement ring still on her finger. She sucked in her lip, before she pulled it of her finger. She looked at it a while.

“You want me to keep this here?” Constance asked softly.

She nodded and gave the ring to her friend.

“I’ll keep it here. When you know, what you want to do with it, I’ll get it back to you.”

“Thank you. For everything.”

“That’s what friends are for.” Constance winked and put the ring in a drawer.

“So.. I feel like I should wait outside.” She was grabbing her coat, putting it on.

“Oh no. I’m going to meet him.”

“But…”

“Is it Tom Hardy?”

“Huh?”

“Well you make kind of a big secret out of it. Everytime we talked about him this week you keep changing subjects.”

“I don’t.”

“Yes you are.”

Audibly sighing she heard the door bell. Constance grin grew bigger with each second.

“Constance?” She said, her friend stopped at the door.

“It’s not Tom Hardy.” Constance pushed the button to get Tom upstairs.

“Then I am not interested.” Constance shrugged her shoulders.

When she opened the door however, and Tom Hiddleston was standing there in a dark grey three piece suit, blue tie, a big bunch of callas in his hands Constance couldn’t help opening her mouth in shock.

“I’m here to pick up my Duchess?” Tom smiled at the Woman who had opened the door for him. She still looked at him shocked.

“I take back what I just said.” She said and opened the door further, so Tom could see his friend standing trying to suppress a laugh behind her hand. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress.

“You said you weren’t interested when I told you it wasn’t Tom Hardy picking me up.”

“That was before I opened the door for Tom Hiddleston.”

“Uhm…” Tom interrupted the two women.

“Give her a second.” The duchess smiled and walked over to Tom. He looked straight out of the movie in the suit he was wearing.

“Happy Birthday.” He whispered as she hugged him. He could smell her perfume.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him.

Constance was thinking about getting herself some popcorn to watch them both interact.

“I brought you some Callas.” Tom handed her the flowers. She smelled them and if it was possible for her smile to grew wider, it would have.

“My favourite.”

“I know.” He winked at her.

“Okay. Lovebirds. Let me take the flowers. I’m bringing them by your place tomorrow. Have fun.” Constance took the flowers and kissed her friends cheek.

“Hiddleston. Make sure she doesn’t break her legs in those shoes.”

“Will do.”

“I can’t eat anymore. I’m not going to be able to enjoy the ballet because I’ll be in a food coma.” She sighed. Tom chuckled.

“I told you they have the best Tapas.”

“I can’t believe you remembered that.”

“What?”

“May favourite food. My favourite flowers. Hell you even remembered how I drink my tea.”

“We spend almost every day from age 8 together. How could I forget something like that?”

“You know more about me, than he ever did, or cared.” She almost whispered.

Tom reached across the table to squeeze her hand.

“You will find someone who will know every single detail about you, and who will love you because of all that. And he will have to get through me.” He winked. She giggled.

“Thanks, Dad.”

Tom tried to focus of the dancing in front of him. He really tried. But he couldn’t tear apart his eyes from her next to him. She looked so happy watching the dancers. Clutching her hand to her chest she sighed and looked at Tom for a moment, before her attention was back on the ballet.

He hated how she had been treated in the last years by her so called fiancé. He still hoped that he would never meet him. A woman like his duchess deserved to be treated like one. If he would have been in his place, he would have laid the world to her feet, just to see her smile. He would take her out to the ballet, the opera, the theatre everytime they had the chance to. He would cook with her or for her. Probably for her. Because she wasn’t the best cook. He would be living with her by now, instead of alone in that big house. Maybe they would have a second dog, that would love her more than him too. Or they would have children by now. Maybe be married already. He shook his head.

Closing his eyes for a moment he tried to clear his head, but the pictures kept flooding in. Her and him on the couch, Bobby on top of them, as Tom read to her. Him kissing her in the morning after waking up. Him cooking her favourite dish, and she thanking him by hugging him from behind, kissing his shoulder.

The train of thoughts was interrupted by the applause of the crowd as the second act finished. She looked smiling at him.

“Thank you for coming with me.” She leant to him and kissed his cheek before her focus was on the stage again. Tom rubbed the spot with his fingers, her lips had just been on.

Fuck.

He was falling in love with his best friend.


	7. Chapter 7

Tom had brought her home after the ballet, kissing her forehead. He didn’t even try to get Bobby back to his place, just letting him leave with her to watch over her in her apartment.

He had taken a walk around the block after that, trying to make some sense of his thoughts. But everything he was coming up with was that he loved her. Knocking his head against his door he sighed. This couldn’t be happening. Not again.

Before she went away to study in the states he had wanted to tell her that he was in love with her. But seeing her so happy to be accepted in her dream university in the states, made him hold back his confession. Nothing good would have come out of it. She still would have left to study and Tom wasn’t one for big distance relationships.

The distance wouldn’t be a problem anymore. She basically lived at his place anyway when she had time off. But she just got out of an abusive relationship not 3 weeks ago. She didn’t need some new relationship. She needed a friend who would watch over her. And protect her no matter what. And that would be all he would do.

  
She decided to get some bagels on her morning run with Bobby. Yes you read right. She jogged again. And Bobby was the perfect companion.

“We have to get you back to Tom, doggo.” You said as you petted him. If a dog could pout, Bobby’s expression at her words would be just that.

“I’m basically living with Tom anyway, no need to be sad.” She rubbed him behind his ears and got up, picking up her backpack with the bagels. Opening the door in Tom’s fence she walked up the little path and knocked on the door. Having expected Tom opening the door she almost cried when she was met with no other than his mother Diana.

“Oh my god.” She cried out.

“Tom told me you were back, but I hadn’t expected to meet you so quickly.” Diana’s arms were around her moments later, pulling her into a tight hug.

“You’re so grown up.” Diana smiled as she looked at her.

“It’s been a long time.” She agreed as she watched the woman.

  
Tom stood in the door frame of his living room, not wanting to interrupt their moment. His mother and his best friend always had a special bond. Especially after her mother had died unexpectedly. All the Hiddleston’s had missed her dearly when she had left for the states. But he had missed her the most. His whole support system had gone with her. He always wanted to become an actor. And she had been the only one supporting him from the very beginning.

He saw Bobby trotting over to him and knelt down.

“Did you take good care of her?” Tom asked lowly.

“He did. Made sure my feet didn’t freeze off also.” He heard her voice.

“Was Bobby staying with you?” His mother asked laughing.

“He refuses to leave her site ever since she got here. I don’t mind.” Tom smiled.

“2 days ago it sounded like you did mind. A lot.” She smirked. Tom rolled his eyes and chuckled.

“Now children. There is much to do before the guest get her. Tom and I need to clean up the terrace.”

“I’ll help.” She offered.

“You don’t have to.” Tom said.

“I know. I want to.” She put her backpack down.

“By the way I brought bagels. Wasn’t sure if you had breakfast already.”

“I haven’t. Mom?”

“Me neither.”

“Then. Breakfast first. Cleaning up after that.” Tom decided and took the bagels to the kitchen.

  
“That garden needs some real love, Hiddleston.” She sighed as she put together the garden chairs Tom had bought.

“Knock yourself out.” Tom laughed.

“Oh no. It’s your garden.”

“I have no clue from gardening.”

“I always wanted to have a garden. Maybe I can teach you?”

“I would love that.” Tom smiled as he looked at her putting together the last chair. He knew he had to stop looking at her like that, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Tom, dear? Could you help me with something?” His mother called.

“Sure.” He said and walked into his kitchen, where his mother was waiting for him.

“You haven’t told her, have you?” She asked.

“Told her what?”

“That you’re in love with her.”

“Mom hush.” He whispered, pulling her deeper into his house.

“So it’s true.” Diana chuckled.

“I can’t tell her.”

“Why not? You regretted not telling her all these years ago. I know how heartbroken you were.”

“She just got out of a long and complicated relationship three weeks ago. She needs a friend. And a friend only.” He clarifies when his mother opened her mouth to say something.

“Just… Don’t wait for to long.” She put her hand on his shoulder.

“That’s easier said then done.” He breathed out.

“You will know, when the time is right Tom. You always did.”

  
People Tom hadn’t seen in years kept flooding his house and he was excited to see each and every one of them. At some point of the evening he had lost sight of her and was more than surprised when he heard her loud laughter from outside. Walking over he saw her standing together with Benedict and his wife, all three of them laughing loudly.

“What’s so funny?” Tom smiled as he approached them.

“Just telling her about our last trip to Wimbledon.”

“Oh dear lord…” Tom rolled his eyes and laughed exhausted.

“I don’t get how everyone is so obsessed with the two of you.” She said.

“That’s what I’ve been saying for years.” Sophie, Benedicts wife said.

“Us neither.” Benedict shrugged his shoulders.

“So you have met Ben and Sophie I see? Don’t believe anything they told you.”

“Oh I can perfectly filter lies from truths when they regard to you.” She pursed her lips.

“Can you now?” He smiled, putting his arm around her shoulder.

“Do not test me Hiddleston.”

“Oh, I won’t. You know to many secrets.”

“Secrets….” Benedict narrowed his eyes.

“Ah ah ah. I have to keep the two of you apart. I feel like I won’t have a peaceful minute once you talked.”

“You might be right about that, Tom.”

  
The later the evening the more interesting got Tom’s guest. And when she heard a shriek and two arms wrapped around her only seconds after that she was speechless.

“Amber?” She asked almost tearing up.

“Duchess.” Amber smiled.

“I haven’t seen you in 20 years.” Now she was crying.

“I know. All because you left to study in the states like some fancy chap.” Amber didn’t release her from her grip. She had missed her friend. All these years.

“How did you know?”

“Tom called me.” Amber said and finally brought some distance between them, to look at her.

“He did?” She wiped away her tears.

“Chris wanted to come to, but he’s on business in Japan.”

“Sure he is.” She chuckled.

“I can’t believe you’re here.” She said

“I can’t believe YOU’RE here. And living next door of all places in London?”

“Hey. I was here first. Tom only moved in recently. Not that I mind.”

“I bet you don’t.” Amber winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

“And I thought I heard a dying cat.” Tom chuckled behind them.

“Pfft. You watch your mouth Hiddleston. I still need to get my revenge for our last game night.”

“I can’t help winning.”

“Cheating you mean.”

Tom sighed loudly before he opened his arms to hug Amber.

“I’m glad you could make it.”

“Thank you for the invite.” She smiled and walked past him in his kitchen to get herself something to drink.

“I can’t believe you called her.” Her arms were around his neck in an instant, as she still couldn’t help the tears running down her face.

“I wanted to surprise you. You need to know that there are people who care about you more than you think.” He kissed the top of her head

“I don’t deserve you.” She whispered.

“True.” He said and she chuckled.

“You deserve someone better.”

  
“You enjoying yourself?” Amber asked as she sat down next to her.

“Are you kidding me? Benedict Cumberbatch is singing a Backstreet Boys song at karaoke right over there.” She pointed in the direction of him. Amber giggled.

“Who would have thought all these years ago, that we would be sitting here, in our friends home, who’s apparently the most beloved actor on the internet watching Sherlock sing Backstreet’s back.”

“I wouldn’t.” She took a sip from her cider.

“So what have you been up to.”

“Oh you know the usual. Studying, working, moving…”

“No boyfriend?” Amber asked and she sighed.

“That’s a very long story which I have to be more drunk for. And I would prefer no audience.”

“Yikes.” Amber said and she only nodded.

“I told Tom and cried for hours.”

“Okay. Then something for another day.” Amber squeezed her shoulders.

“What about you?”

“Oh I’m running a lawyers office in Hammersmith. And living with my girlfriend.”

“I want to meet here.”

“You will.” Amber smiled.

  
It was getting late and people started to leave. Tom said his goodbye to each and everyone of his guests and thanked them for coming.

“Take care of her. I don’t know what happened to her. But you know. Call me if you need me.” Amber said, as she hugged him goodbye.

“I will. Where is she?”

“I have no idea. I was busy drinking with Sherlock.” Amber giggled. Tom chuckled.

“You okay getting home?”

“There is an uber waiting for me.” She pointed outside to the waiting car.

“Great. Thank you for coming and for surprising her.”

“Always.” She smiled.

“Oh and Tom?” She said as she walked down the path outside his house.

“Don’t wait to long.” She winked at him and got into the car.

Loudly sighing he turned around.

“Yeah you shouldn’t.” He looked into the face of his friend Ben.

“Oh my god am I that obvious?”

“Only to the people who know you very well. Which is funny, because she should be the first to notice it then.” Ben chuckled.

“Not funny.” Tom grumbled.

“How long?” Ben asked as they stood in the door, waiting for his wife to finish.

“Probably for 20 years? But only yesterday it really hit me.”

“Oh you poor fool.” Ben sighed and put a hand on Tom’s shoulder

“Yeah I know. It’s a mess.”

“Well thank god you have the next months off to sort this mess out.” Ben smiled encouraging as Sophie stepped next to him.

“Thank you for having us. I love the house.”

“Thank you for coming.” Tom kissed Sophie’s cheek and watched the pair walk out of his house.

  
“I like her.” Tom heard a voice behind him. Startled he turned around to come to face with Luke.

“Bloody hell.” Tom exclaimed. Luke chuckled.

“You thought you were alone didn’t you?”

“What gave you the impression? Me loosing my shit when you approached me.” Tom shook his head chuckling.

“I just woke up outside on one of your very comfy chairs.” Luke laughed.

“And I like her. I think she’s funny and she doesn’t care who you are. At all. You’re just Tom for her.”

“I know.”

“But please if you plan on causing mischief inform me the next time. People are already planing your wedding on the internet.”

“Oh Luke.” Tom walked over putting his hands on Luke’s shoulders.

“That’s why I’m paying you the big bucks.”

  
After he put on the dishwasher and made sure there was no person left in his house, he made his way upstairs to get to bed. It was nearing 4 am and all he wanted was to sleep. He couldn’t find her, so he thought she had went home. When he opened his bedroom door however he was met with a picture that nearly took his breath away. She was laying curled up on his bed hugging Bobby closely, her head resting on the dogs head.

Tom’s heart would jump out of his chest if it could, when he took this picture in.

Silently he closed the door behind him and walked over to his bed. She was still wearing her shoes and the comfy looking dress she had changed in in the afternoon. Carefully he pulled her shoes off, waking Bobby in the process.

“You’re not allowed in the bed.” He whispered and could see his dogs ears flopping down. He chuckled and sighed. He could sleep downstairs.

“Tom?” He heard her whispering, before her eyes fluttered open.

“I’m just changing. Sleep. I’ll be downstairs on the couch.”

“No… I’m gonna head home.” She yawned and Bobby jumped down from the bed.

“You stay. It’s late.”

“Then get in bed.” She closed her eyes again, lazily pointing on the spot beside her.

“You sure?”

“It’s your bed Tom.”

Pulling off his clothes of the day he put on a shirt and some Pyjama pants and slipped under the covers of his own bed. Almost as if she had been waiting for him she snuggled to his site. He put the covers over her, putting his arms around her shoulders protectively. Breathing as silent as he could he looked down to the woman sleeping soundly in his arm. Shaking his head he closed his eyes, pushing his feelings as far away as he could until sleep finally found him.


	8. Chapter 8

She was so comfortable, she didn’t want to open her eyes. Slowly getting more and more awake she yawned, and startled, as she felt an arm around her waist, pulling her closer to the warm body that she could feel behind her. Snapping her eyes open she relatively fast came to the conclusion that she was in Tom’s bed and not in hers. It was still dark outside, but she could see the beginnings of the sunrise. Carefully turning her head, she looked over her shoulder. Tom’s face was so close, that she could feel his breath in her neck as he continued to sleep.

Sighing she reached for his hand on her hip and laying hers on top only to fall back to sleep minutes later.

  
The next time she woke up she was alone. She reached for the side of the bed where Tom had been laying. It was still warm. So it couldn’t be to long that he was awake. Stretching herself and yawning loudly she looked outside, where the sun was shining.

“You’re awake.” She heard Tom’s voice and turned her head lazily to where he was leaning in the door frame.

“What time is it?” She asked.

“It’s nearly noon.”

“Really? Wow. I haven’t slept that long in… I can’t even remember.” She chuckled.

“Me neither.” He joined.

“I wouldn’t but Luke called. Apparently there is one director very interested in meeting me.”

“But that’s great, isn’t it? Why do you sound so defeated?” She asked. Tom sighed and walked over, sitting next to her on the bed.

“I’m supposed to be off for the next months.”

“And one meeting is not going to change it.” She said, taking his hand into hers. Tom couldn’t help the smile that crept to his face, as he felt her fingers entwine with his.

“I know. I just don’t want to leave…”

“Where do you have to go?”

“New York.”

“Oh bohoo. You poor man. Probably getting a paid visit to New York with a stay in a five star hotel.” She rolled her eyes and Tom laughed.

“Why don’t you join me?” He asked without thinking.

“What?” She laughed.

“Yeah. Why don’t you join me? It’s only 4 days. And you need to get out of here.”

“Oh do I?” She arched her left eyebrow, sitting herself up on the bed.

“After all that went on with your fiancée, you deserve some time away.”

“I can’t just leave work.” She argued.

“I bet you have at least half of your vacation days still left for this year. And you can read everywhere.” Tom said. What was he doing? Like spending more time with her in another country would do him good.

“You’re right about the vacation days…” She said after a while.

“See? Come with me to New York. I’ll make it worth it.” He smiled softly at her, giving her his best puppy eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that Hiddleston.” She closed her eyes.

“Like what?” He laughed.

“Don’t use the puppy eyes on me. They don’t work.”

“Why have you closed your eyes then?” He chuckled. She opened one eye.

“Because I’m out of practice at saying no to you and I can’t think of any reasons.”

“Great. I’m calling Luke.” Tom shot up from the bed.

“Tom. Tom… Thomas stop.” She got out of the bed, nearly tripping over her stupid dress that she was still wearing. She felt his hands around her arms, before she fell down. She couldn’t help but laugh.

“I need to check my calendar first. I have the next 3 weeks completely booked. You have to wait till tomorrow.” Tom couldn’t stop looking at her. Her hair still a mess from sleeping, and the same dress she had worn last night. She was beautiful.

“Tom?” She asked. He had been looking at her with a small smile on his face. And that look he had been giving her frequently.

He shook his head, to clear his mind.

“Yeah. Sure. But you would go, yes?”

“I’m checking my schedule tomorrow.”

“Great.” He kissed her forehead and turned around, letting her stand confused in his bedroom, as he walked down the hall.

“Where you going?” She asked.

“Making breakfast.”

  
It was almost 4 weeks later when they sat next to each other on a direct flight to JFK. She had taken 2 whole weeks off, from which she would spend one week in New York with Tom. She even agreed to go to some kind of movie party with him. With red carpet and all.

“How many photographers will be there?”

“Oh I don’t know. Some? It’s a Marvel event after all.”

“Uhhh… Will Chris Hemsworth be there?” She asked with big eyes. Tom sighed and laughed, overplaying the small feeling of jealousy at her reaction.

“I think he will. Yes.”

“Is he single?”

“Happily married.” He grumbled, trying to appear busy as he searched for his book. She looked at her friend.

“Ah. You’re probably tired.” She put her hand on his arm, squeezing it lightly.

“It’s 2 am in London. You should be tired too.” He laughed exhausted.

“Then let’s sleep.”

  
“I would carry you if I could. But Luke might kill me for that.”

Yawning she leaned against Tom side, nearly falling asleep.

“I don’t care. I can handle Luke. He likes me.”

“And it should stay that way.” Tom chuckled. They were waiting for their luggage to arrive. Sighing she closed her eyes on his shoulder.

Tom smiled gently, as he put his arm around her. They had arrived an hour ago and it was now 4 am in New York. They had the whole day in front of them.

“Let’s just get to the hotel so I can sleep.” She said lowly.

“What about breakfast first? You have to stay awake, otherwise this trip will be you sleeping the whole time.”

“Why are you so meaaan?” She whined, punching his shoulder without real effort. He laughed.

“You’re cute when you’re tired.” He said before he could stop himself. Squeezing his eyes shut he cursed to himself.

“Apparently not cute enough for you to not be mean.” She said yawning. Tom saw their luggage arrive and walked over collecting the two suitcases.

“So Luke said we should just be ourselves. News are going to speculate anyway?” She asked, as they walked towards the exit.

“Yeah. Can’t really help it.” Tom pulled his sunglasses on his nose.

“That must be exhausting.” She said, doing the same.

“It’s not something I’m overly fond of. And even less when I have to drag my friends in it.” He looked forward, already seeing some paparazzi.

“Let’s just get to the car quickly.” He said and she nodded. When they stepped out and were nearly bombarded with questions, she quickly searched for his hand. Tom looked down at her, seeing her smiling uneasy. He guided her towards the car, opening the door for her so she could get in. Turning around smiling, he helped the driver getting the suitcases into the car, before he sat down beside her, closing the cardoor behind him.

“That was… insane.” She breathed out.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“All the questions…”

“Just ignore them. They are trying to get a reaction. And I’m not giving them what they want. So they always come back to the one topic.” He sighed. She looked at him from her side.

“You never talk about her.” She said. Tom pulled his sunglasses off to look at her for a while.

“There is nothing left to talk about. It’s in the past.”

“You always say I need to talk about my ex.”

“That’s something different. He…” Tom slid closer to her.

“He abused you. And it wasn’t even 2 months ago.” He said whispering. She breathed in deeply, before she took his hands in hers.

“And you’re right when you say I need to talk about it. But Tom. Something happened with you, and you need to talk about it to move on. You might have not been abused physically and have visible scars. But there still can be scars on your soul.”

Tom looked at her. Her beautiful eyes full of compassion and love. If only he could tell her how he felt about her.

“You might be right. But this is neither the time, nor the place for talks like that.” He smiled softly at her.

“I’m here for you anytime Tom.” She kissed his cheek and leaned back in the seat, looking out of the window. Tom had to bite his lip, to keep himself from talking. She wasn’t ready. She might never be ready for him. And he had to make his peace with it.

  
“This is insane.” She breathed, looking out of the window. She could see central park. The hotel they would stay for the next week was the Sherry Netherlands and going out from how their room looked and the view, it must cost a fortune.

“Wait till you see the view from the bathtub.” Tom smirked, watching her jump around the room excitedly. He had no idea they were booked in a suite or in such an expensive hotel for that matter

“They must really want you in that movie if they are paying for this.” She gestured around her.

“I just had the same exact thought. Please don’t think I would book something like that for myself.”

“I know.” She said walking over to Tom and hugging him closely.

“Thank you for bringing me.” She whispered in his neck.

“You are very welcome.” He whispered back enjoying being able to have her so close.

  
Ditching breakfast they went for some Pizza and Tom’s first sightseeing stop.

“Oh my god you’re taking me to the MoMa.” She buzzed from excitement when she saw the building.

“You told me you never had the chance.” Tom said as they walked up the stairs.

“Oh I’m going to cry. I know it.”

“Only Happy tears are allowed.”

“You don’t understand…” She said. Tom stopped and turned around.

“You have been talking about the starry night since we were Children, Darling. I think I know how much this means to you.” He said softly, before he put his arm around her shoulder, guiding her into the building. But the thing was, he didn’t understand what it meant to her. That the first thing he wanted to show her in whole New York City, was the painting of her favourite Artist she had been dreaming about seeing in person for her whole life. Letting him pick up the passes he walked straight for the section where the painting was hanging.

“Oh my god…” She breathed as she lay her eyes on the painting. Slowly walking over to where the bench was standing in front of it, she sat down. Her hand in front of her mouth. Tom tried to not look like a love sick puppy but he knew he failed, as he saw an older lady looking at him knowingly, before he made her way over to where she was still sitting in front of the painting. Speechless. Her eyes were full of wonder, as she took in the painting. Her hair was in a bun on top of her head and she had decided to wear her glasses today. The air conditioning of the plane had dried her eyes out. He was wearing his glasses too because of the same reason. Carefully, to not interrupt her, he sat down beside her. She quickly glanced at him, before her eyes were on the painting again. He felt her reaching for his hand.

“It’s beautiful.” She whispered in awe, not tearing her eyes away from the painting. Tom looked at her, being so happy in that moment. A moment he would have made possible years ago. If he could, he would buy that painting for her to see her that happy all the time.

“It really is beautiful.” He said as he looked at her.


	9. Chapter 9

Sooner, mostly because of the fact that Tom had planned nearly every minute of their trip, then she knew, it was their last night in New York, which meant the Marvel Event she had agreed on accompany him.

“Uhm Tom?” She said from her favourite place in the suite. The bathtub. She had taken a bath every single day since they got here, enjoying the view. The water was full of bubbles, making her appear like a floating head.

“Yes?” She hear Tom call back.

“Can you come in here for a second?”

“Are you decent?”

She laughed.

“I’m in the tub Tom. I’m naked. But fear not, you won’t have to live with the picture of me naked in your head.” He heard her call back laughing on his way to the bathroom, where he stopped as he heard her words. ‘Don’t think about her naked’ He said to himself in a mantra as he stepped into the bathroom.

“That’s a lot of bubbles.” He said as he spotted her. Which was quite the challenge because of the amount of bubbles.

“Told you.” She winked. Tom sat down at the window.

“What can I help you with?”

“I’m kind of scared because of tonight.” She confessed.

“What for?” Tom asked.

“It’s a red carpet event. I know only you there. And there will be press. I will say something stupid and make you look like a fool in front of everyone.”

“Darling.” He said, as he knelt down beside the tub, his eyes fixed on her face.

“You could never make a fool out of me, I can do that just fine by myself. You just don’t talk to the press. Let me handle that. And yes you know someone there. Ben will be there too.”

She saw his honest smile as he reassured her again, that everything would went just fine. Her hand was on his cheek before she could help it.

“Uh sorry.” She giggled confused as she felt his stubble under her fingers.

Tom swallowed as he breathed in, trying not to lean into her touch.

“What for?” He asked.

“I made you all wet.” She brushed her fingers over his jaw as she pulled it back in the water.

“It’s only water, Darling.” He smiled softly and got up to leave her alone.

Minutes went by in which she just looked in the direction Tom had just left. Narrowing her eyes she shook her head and got ready. The stylist would be here in an hour.

  
“I look like a princess.” She gasped as she looked into the mirror. Her dark hair in waves over her left shoulder, exposing her neck and the lone earring that hung down her right earlobe. Some light make up and her red lips made her look perfect. And the dress… Sometimes being the best friend of an successful actor came in handy. Even more so, when said actor had a contract with Ralph Lauren.

She was wearing a light yellow wrap dress with the matching shoes. Making her look like an actual ray of sunshine. She didn’t know that she could look like that.

“Don’t you think the colour is a bit brave for someone who is supposed to be in the background?” She called our for Tom in the other room.

“Yellow suits you.” He called back and she rolled her eyes, making the stylist giggle.

“You haven’t even seen me yet.” She argued.

“You always look beautiful.” He called again. She shook her head.

Sighing she took the jewellery the stylist had for her.

“You’re a cute couple.” The stylist said, as she took one last look at her.

“We’re not a couple. He’s been my best friend since we were children.” She said.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“No problem. Thank you for this.” She gestured up and down at her.

“It was a pleasure. I’m going to take a look at Tom and then I’m going to leave you.”

“Thank you.” She smiled.

  
When Tom was finally finished, wearing a navy blue suit, white dress shirt, no tie, he said goodbye to the stylist and made his way to her room. She was leaning in the window, her back to him, as she looked down the street. Her yellow dress ended just above her knee, flowing with her every move. When she turned around however he couldn’t stop the gasp.

“You look beautiful, Duchess.” He breathed. She swirled once for him, before she walked over to where he was standing.

“You don’t look so bad yourself.” She said, as she stood in front of him. The suits he wore always fitted him perfectly, and this one was no exception.

“No tie?” She asked.

“Nah. It’s not that fancy.”

“It’s not? Am I overdressed?” She said with big eyes. He chuckled.

“You are perfect, Darling.” He said, before he kissed her forehead, holding out his hand for her.

“Shall we?”

  
As soon as she stepped out of the car she was blinded by the amount of flashlights. Tom took her hand right away, guiding her away from the press on his arm.

“Jesus Christ.” She cursed as she finally was able to see something again. Tom chuckled.

“It’s intense. I know.”

“It’s a circus.” She said.

“Duchess!” She heard a voice behind her, turning slowly around, to see Benedict approaching her.

“How do you know her nickname?” Tom asked confused.

“I told him.” She shrugged and found herself hugging Benedict in the next moment.

“How you’ve been?” He asked.

“Great. I think. Ask me again, when we’re inside.” She said.

“Hello Tom. How are you? Yes. Thank you. I’m good too.” Tom said next to them.

“Aww is someone jealous I’m taking his best friend away from him?” Benedict teased him and Tom suppressed the urge to punch Ben’s shoulder. Instead he rolled his eyes.

“Actually it’s good you’re here. Can you stay with her? I’m going over to the press.”

“Sure.” Ben nodded. Tom looked at her one last time before he turned and walked over to the press.

  
“So you’re enjoying your vacation?” Ben asked.

“It was perfect. I’m kind of sad it’s over.”

“I’m sure you can come back some time.”

“I hope so. I can’t believe I’ve never been here and needed Tom to take me here.”

“Good things come to those who wait.” Ben smiled.

“Wow. Someone is in a good mood.”

“You have no idea.”

“Do I want to know?”

“You’ll know eventually.”

“Well that’s not helpful at all.”

“He’s always big with secrets that one.” She heard a deep voice behind her. Slowly turning around she came to face with no other than Chris Hemsworth.

“Because nobody around here can keep secrets.” Benedict said. She was still staring at the impressive stature of Chris. He was huge. He caught her looking, smiling widely at her.

“Chris Hemsworth.” He held his hand out which she took to shake.

“Sorry. Usually I know how to articulate myself but you’re just so….” She gestured wildly in front of her laughing. Benedict chuckled.

“Thank you?” Chris said confused.

“That’s Tom’s best friend. Friends call her the Duchess.”

“Oh… You’re the one Tom…” Benedict stepped between them, interrupting Chris. She looked at them with narrowed eyes.

“I am the one Tom….?” She asked.

“Tom told us about.” Benedict said, shooting Chris a look.

Crossing her arms in front of her she arched an eyebrow.

“Something is going on.”

“We’re not going to tell you.” Benedict said.

“What are you not going to tell her?” She heard Tom behind her, his hand on her back.

“You have secrets. With them. About me.” She looked him in the eyes. He might be an actor, but he can’t lie to her face.

“I do?” He said confused, catching Benedict’s gaze.

“Apparently. The big puppy over there was about to say something, when Sherlock interrupted him.”

“Is that so?” Tom looked at Chris.

“So?” She asked. Tom was about to say something when the screams got louder.

“Who is that?” Ben asked.

“I think it’s Downey.”

She clutched Tom’s arm and he smiled, thankful for the timing. She saw her pleading eyes.

“Let’s get inside. I’m going to introduce you later.” He said, pulling his arm around her shoulder and guiding her inside the building.

  
“What the bloody hell Chris?” Tom said as he was alone with him. Benedict took her dancing.

“I’m sorry. I’m bad at keeping secrets.”

Tom shook his head in exhaustion.

“She seems nice.” Chris said after a while. Tom followed his gaze that was on Benedict and her dancing the robot in the middle of the dancefloor. He chuckled before he sighed.

“She’s perfect.”

“God. You really got it bad.”

“I don’t know what to do Chris. I don’t know if I can tell her. She only sees me as her best friend.”

“You sure there never was anything a bit more from her side?”

“Not that I know of.”

Tom saw Benedict waving him to him.

“I guess that’s my cue.” Tom sighed, emptying his glass of whiskey.

“Good luck mate.” Chris put his hand on Tom’s shoulder. He nodded and walked over to the dancefloor.

“The Duchess wanted to switch.” Ben said, laying her hand into Tom’s giving him a thoughtful look, before he left.

“Your highness.” Tom said, bowing a little, before he put his hand on her waist, the other hand entwining their hands. She smiled at him. He looked so happy in this moment. His eyes reflecting the soft light around them. He was truly beautiful. Closing her eyes for a moment and clearing her mind from the weird thought she just had she sighed. Looking at him again, she heard the beginnings of a slow waltz.

She found herself swaying in a slow waltz a couple moments later. Laying her head on his shoulder she let him lead. Following his steps. Hearing his heart beat under her ear. She sighed.

Tom closed his eyes as he danced with her. Deleting the fact that there were other people around from his mind, probably watching them. He inhaled the familiar scent of her hair. Soon he let the dancing steps be dancing steps, just slowdancing with her. He felt one of her hands going up in his neck, just under his hairline. He couldn’t help the shiver running over his body. The song ended and she looked up at him, smiling softly at him.

“Thank you.” She said lowly.

“What for?”

“For finding me in the bookstore.”

  
“You think she loves him too?” Chris asked as they watched both of them dance.

“I think so, yes.” Benedict said smiling.

  
The flight back was spend mostly asleep. They partied the whole night, only coming to the hotel to change and take their luggage before driving to the airport. She kept looking at Tom as he read his book, sitting next to her on the plane. Even overly tired he still managed to look his handsome. He had always been handsome. But something about sleepy Tom, his glasses deep on his nose as he read was incredibly attractive to her. Shaking her head she got back to her book, not noticing Tom smirking to himself.

  
“Breakfast tomorrow?” Tom yawned as the car drove down their street.

“I don’t know. I have no idea what time or day it is.” She said sleepily, snuggling herself closer to Tom’s side.

“It’s Tuesday. It’s about 4 pm and you’re going directly to sleep in your bed. I’m gonna come over with breakfast tomorrow.”

“What would I do without you?” She smiled, her eyes closed.

“Starve?” Tom said dryly making her laugh.

  
“I’ll bring you up.” Tom said quietly. She shook her head.

“Go to bed. I’ll be okay.”

“But your luggage…”

“Take it with you. Most stuff is for the dry cleaners anyway and you said you’re going to send your stuff there.”

“Sounds logical.”

“Sometimes I have my moments.” She smiled lazy walking towards the door.

“Thank you for taking me to New York Tom.”

“It was a pleasure.” He smiled, kissing her forehead.

“I see you tomorrow.” She yawned, making Tom laugh.

“I’ll be over at 10 am.”

“Good night.”

  
Making her way upstairs all she could think of was the bed that waited for her. She needed to take a quick shower though. There was no way she would take all the dirt from New York and the plane with her to her bed. Opening the door she narrowed her eyes. Didn’t she lock it twice before she left? Shaking her head she opened it, closing it behind her breathing out.

“Honey. I’m home.” She said quietly.

“Where have you been?” She heard a voice from down the hall. All tiredness she felt gone in an instant she began to breathe rapidly, as she saw her ex-fiancé walking towards her, a bottle of Scotch in his hand.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note that this chapter includes physical abuse and choking. You have been warned.

Tom was about to head into the shower when he noticed that it wasn’t his phone, he tried to unlock to listen to some music. It was his Duchess’s. Yawning he looked at himself in the mirror, his eyes tiredly looking back at him. Would she need her phone? It was only one night and she probably would be asleep by now. Sighing he shook his head and walked down the stairs to put on his shoes. He took the keys to her apartment she had given him a few weeks before, hoping to not disturb her if she was already asleep.

  
“What… What are you doing here?” She asked calmly.

“I wanted to see my lovely fiancée.” He slurred as he walked over, coming to stand close to her. To close. Giving him a fake smile she looked at him. He smelled of alcohol and sweat.

“How long have you been back here?” She asked.

“3 days. Where have you been?” He asked. His eyes dangerously focusing on her.

“I had a meeting in New York.” She lied.

“A meeting yeah?” He asked. In the next moment his fist connected with the door only inches next to her head, making her flinch.

“Don’t lie to me. I saw the pictures of you and that actor.” He rested his weight on his arm, caging her in. She had to bring some distance between them.

“I don’t know what you mean.” She turned her head away from him, as she felt his breath on her face. Swallowing she breathed in.

“Oh come on. You and that Thor guy? Didn’t take you for jumping on another dick right away, but guess I was wrong.” He said with a face. She looked up in his unfocused gaze, unbelieving looking at him. She shoved his arm away, making him almost fall down, as she walked away from him to the living room.

“You think I’m sleeping with Chris?” She had to hold back her laughter, as she went over to her fireplace.

“Come on. The way you looked at him in these pictures…” He followed her, coming to stand on the back on the couch in front of the fireplace.

“Jesus… He’s married. Happily I might add. Also this is none of your concern anymore. You left me. For good, I might add. Why do you still have keys?”

“I love you.” He just said.

“Really?” She crossed her arms in front of her.

“Yeah. Baby….” He slowly rounded the couch, walking towards her. She walked to the other side of the room.

“Don’t you Baby me. You left me. After you hit me. And you wrote that I deserve someone better. Is this you someone better?”

“I’m trying…”

“No. No. You’re not. If you were trying you wouldn’t be standing in MY living room drunk as fuck. I want you to leave.” She said sternly.

“You can’t throw me out of my apartment.” He said dangerously quiet.

“It’s my apartment. I paid for it.”

“You bitch…” He growled caging her in the corner she manoeuvred herself in.

  
Tom opened the door to her apartment as quietly as possible, not risking to wake or startle her, if she was asleep. He heard talking from the living room. Narrowing his eyes he quickly shut the door behind him, walking towards the living room. The first thing he saw was a man towering over her, his hands tightly around her neck. She had her hands around his wrists trying to get him off of him.

“I think it’s better if you let go of her now.” He growled only above a whisper, making the man snap his attention to him.

“Who the fuck are you?” He snapped at Tom. Thankfully he let go of her, turning his body towards Tom.

“I could ask you the same question.” Even if Tom already knew who that excuse of a man was.

“I’m her fiancée.” 

“Tom… Don’t.” He heard her call out quietly, as she rubbed the skin on her neck. Tom took a couple breaths, trying to calm himself. He’d been awake for nearly 30 hours by now, with the little nap on the plane, but all the tiredness he felt was washed away completely.

“I think it’s best for you to leave this place now.” He said after a while.

“And why would I do that? I live here.”

“Lived if I’m informed right.” Tom corrected him, slowly walking around the couch so he was nearing the fireplace.

“The bitch sleeping with you to?” He almost laughed.

“Great. I leave for a few weeks and she’s jumping on every dick she meets…”

Tom left this without a comment, letting him talk to himself for a while. He looked into the corner where his Duchess still was sitting, hugging her knees, making herself as small as possible. She looked at him, tears in her eyes. Tom wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms.

“How did you get in here?” He heard him ask.

“The door was open.” He lied, not thinking it was the best to tell him he got a key.

“Bullshit.” He growled. Tom wasn’t big on physical violence, but he was ready to beat this fucker up when he heard the door burst open. Within seconds 3 policemen were surrounding the man, fixating him, so he couldn’t move. Tom sighed in relief and was next to her in seconds, feeling her arms around him immediately, as she hid her face in his neck. He could feel her shaking in his arms.

One of the policemen approached them.

“I take it, you’re the one who called?” He asked Tom. He nodded. Before he stepped into the living room he had made the call.

“We’re taking him with us.”

“I want him out of my life.” She whispered in his neck, not looking up.

“I’m going to speak out a temporary restraining order. You need to get to court to have it finalized. And I need you back at the station for a statement as soon as possible. Do you need a doctor?” The policemen asked. She shook her head a little, trying to focus on Tom’s heartbeat to get her breathing under control.

“I’m going to take her to the hospital. And we’re going to be at the station first thing in the morning. We’re on our feet for a good 30 hours now, just getting back from New York.” Tom explained, making the police man nod. He pulled out his card, giving it to Tom.

“I’ll be in touch. You’re okay from here on?” He asked. Tom sighed but nodded, thanking him, before he left. He didn’t even remember the other police men taking the ex-fiancee out.

He looked down at her now calmer figure. Both of her fists grabbing his shirt tightly. She was half sitting on his lap, trying to get as close to him as possible.. They sat like that for a while, just quietly breathing.

“Come on. I’m taking you to the hospital.” Tom whispered after a while.

“I.. I don’t want to.” She whispered hoarsely, finally looking up at him. Her eyes red from the tears she had shed.

“We need to in order to get all the details, Darling.” He carefully rubbed her back. She had stopped shaking a little while ago.

“Okay.” She said finally, not making any intentions to get up. Tom smiled a little.

“We have to stand up to leave.” He said.

“Don’t want to.” She said in his chest. Tom sighed before he got up, picking her up with him, making her shriek.

“Ouch.” She cried out, making Tom halt in his movements, setting her down on her feet carefully as he eyed her concerned. She was holding her neck, where bruises were starting to come visible. Swallowing his anger he smiled reassuring at her, taking her hand from her neck into his.

“Come. I’m taking care of you.”

  
She didn’t want to get into the examination room alone so she quickly informed the nurse that Tom was her fiancée. He flinched at the name, asking himself if it was because of the word or the feeling he had as she called him that. Shaking his head he didn’t let go of her hand until they were back at home. His home to be clear.

“You’re not staying alone over there.” He stated, as she looked at him asking.

“But…”

“No. You are staying with me as long as this is all sorted out. The door to your apartment is broken and that maniac is still to close to make me feel safe leaving you alone.”

“Tom…” She tried to interrupt again.

“I want you to move in with me for at least a week or two. Or forever. I don’t care. I need to know you’re safe. I…” He felt her hand over his mouth stopping his rant.

“I only wanted to get some clothes. I would have asked if I could stay at your place for a while if you hadn’t start your rant.” She said whispering. Carefully letting her hand sink down she looked up at him.

“Thank you for everything you do for me Tom. I don’t know what I would do without you.” He could see the tears that threatened to escape her eyes. Leaning down, taking her head in both of his hands, as he kissed her forehead he rested his chin on her head for a little while. He hadn’t allowed himself to think about what had happened within the last 4 hours, because he wanted to be strong for her. But now, with her arms around him, he couldn’t stop his tears.

“Hey…” She said quietly, reaching for his cheek as she felt the first drops on her head. She looked up in his face. He looked so scared.

“I don’t know what I would do without you anymore. I barely can barely remember how I spend my free time before you got back. I was so scared..” Tom said breathing in deep.

“I’m not going everywhere Tom. I’m staying right here.” Where she felt safe. In his arms. She thought to herself. She saw the hint of a smile on his face, as she put her head back to his chest, hugging him even closer.

“I love you, you know.” He heard her say. Hearing these words from her lips was all he always wanted to hear. But not like that. Not after all that happened. And not when she clearly didn’t mean them in the way he did. But just for one second he let himself believe that she meant them exactly as he meant them. Kissing her hair he sighed.

“I love you too.” He said smiling sadly.

  
An hour later, as they had packed a few things she needed and she was in the bathroom, Tom let himself fall back on his bed. Putting his arm over his eyes he tried to order his thoughts when he heard his phone. Tiredly reaching for it on his night stand he saw that Luke was calling. Shit.

“For fucks sake Tom. I’ve been trying to reach you for hours.” He heard as soon as he answered the call. Tom sighed.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t look at my phone. I was busy.”

“What were you doing with your friend at the hospital?” He asked straight away.

“Ah fuck. Someone was there?” Tom shook his head, rubbing his eyes.

“No pictures yet. But someone talked.”

“Fucking…”

“What happened Tom?” Luke asked quietly.

“You know that situation with her Ex I told you briefly about?” Tom asked.

“The violent one?”

“He was waiting for her in her apartment when we got back from New York today.”

“Shit. Is she okay? Are you okay?”

“We’re okayish. She’s hoarse and has some pain because he choked her. But otherwise nothing happened.”

“Fuck. Okay. I’m going to have a statement ready just in case. Take care of her. And of yourself. I know you. Don’t beat yourself up.”

Tom chuckled.

“You know me very well.”

“That’s why you pay me the big bucks. Remember?” Tom could hear Luke’s smile through the phone.

“Worth every penny. I’m calling you tomorrow okay? I’m dead tired.”

“I can imagine. Give her my love.”

“I will. Good night.” Tom ended the call, breathing out loudly.

  
He must have fallen asleep at some point, because the he was startled as he felt a movement beside him. Sitting up blinking rapidly he saw the shape of her standing uncertainly next to him.

“You had your glasses still on.” She said quietly.

“What time is it?”

“It’s a little after 3 am.”

“And why are you not asleep?” He asked.

“I… I was scared. I dreamt of him…” He could see her finger fiddling with the hem of her shirt as she looked down at him. Sitting himself up on the bed, he moved to the other side, taking off his dress shirt and jeans he had still been wearing, before he opened his arms for her. She snuggled herself close to him, her head fitting perfectly in the nape where his shoulders connected his neck, sighing exhausted when she felt his arms pulling her closer to him.

“Good night.” She whispered, her hand laying on his chest. His thin shirt the only barrier between her touch.

“Good night.” He whispered back, kissing her hair lightly before he fell asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

“Where are we going?” She asked for the hundredth time as the landscape flew by her. Tom had packed a bag for both of them and practically kidnapped her.

“You’ll see.” He just said, smiling to himself.

“You know I have to be back at work on monday?”

“I know. But I also know that it’s only thursday. And I don’t want your vacation ruined because of what happened on tuesday.”

“I wasn’t planning on letting it ruin this for me. I will never forget New York.” She said softly. She was wearing a light scarf to cover the purple bruises on her neck. Thankfully speaking wasn’t hurting as much as the day before.

“Still. I think you’re going to enjoy this.”

“I don’t think you could do anything that I wouldn’t enjoy.” She smiled at him, her eyes hiding behind her big sunglasses. She saw him smiling, his eyes still fixed on the road in front of him. She had a suspicion where he was taking her. She could read road signs after all. He looked incredibly handsome today. He was wearing only a light blue shirt and some jeans but still managed to look more attractive than the average person. The stubble in his face had just the right amount and she was wondering, how it would feel beneath her fingertips. Sighing over her inner thoughts that were definitely not the thoughts of a best friends she turned her head to look outside again.

She could hear Tom humming along to the song on the radio. And just for a moment she let herself imagine how her life would have turned out, if she hadn’t left for the states. Maybe she would be married by now, have a kid or two while still trying to work. It would be a complete chaos, she was sure of that. But with the right husband…

She thought of what would have happened if she had told Tom how she felt for him back in the day. Of him being the first man she ever really loved. And still does. Just in another way. Not that she wouldn’t now… No. She shouldn’t entertain thoughts like this. But still, she couldn’t help the happy smile that sneaked to her face as she let herself think of Tom and her together. Maybe married. Maybe with kids. But definitely happy.

She woke as the car stopped. Yawing she stretched, her eyes getting used to the bright light. As soon as she saw where she was she smiled.

“Welcome home.” Tom said next to her, as he watched her smile growing bigger.

“Oh my god it’s Folk Festival!” She shrieked in the next moment, abruptly hugging Tom before she practically jumped out of the car. Tom chuckled as he got out of his car.

“We’re staying with mum by the way. I hope that’s okay.”

“Okay? That’s more than okay. Will she be making breakfast?”

“Nobody does french toasts like her. I hope so.” Tom laughed. She breathed in deep, enjoying the sea air, before she turned around, reaching for Tom’s hand. That was something she did more and more without really thinking about it. But Tom did.

“Let’s get some fish & chips. I’m starving.”

Sitting on the porch of his mothers house at 10 pm, a beer in his hand he looked out to the ocean. The sound of the waves calming him down.

“Care for some company?” He heard her ask. He looked up and saw her with a blanket around her shoulders, a beer in her hand. He smiled and nodded. She sat down beside him, spreading the blanket over both of their laps.

“It’s still as peaceful as I remember here.” She sat after a while.

“Yeah… I’m glad it is.” Tom tried to not think of the last time he brought someone over here, but couldn’t help the thoughts.

“What’s with that frown?” She asked as she looked at him. He gazed at her before he sighed.

“You know the Ex I never talk about?” He began. She nodded.

“I brought her here. To visit mum.” She nodded but didn’t say anything.

“I really thought she could be the one. I still am not entirely sure what happened between us to end it.”

“Have you never talked about it?”

“Well she has someone new now. And she’s happy.”

“Are you happy, Tom?” She asked. The question took him by surprise.

“I could be happier.” He answered vague. He felt her head fall down on his shoulder.

“What’s stopping you to be fully happy?”

_Telling you that I’m in love with you and you rejecting me for it_ he thought to himself.

“I think, no I know I’m in love with someone but I’m afraid of her reaction.” He said after a while. She closed her eyes at his words, not liking what she felt as the words hit her brain. He was in love with someone. Why was that thought making her sad?

“Why are you afraid?” She asked quietly.

“I’ve known her for a while and I’m not sure she sees more in me than a friend.” Tom said. Maybe asking her for advice wasn’t his best plan. He heard her sigh.

“If you really love her, you need to tell her. What when she feels exactly like you, and has the same thought?” She said. Tom smiled at her words. Putting his arm around her shoulder he pulled her closer to him.

“Have I told you that I’m glad we met again lately?” He asked.

“It’s been at least 3 days. I grew kinda worried…” She chuckled as she inhaled his scent and heard him laugh beneath her.

They stayed in Devon until Saturday. Relaxing on the beach, walking across the Folk Festival and just having fun. Tom was kinda sad they had to go, but she had to go back to work. And they had to go back to their lives. On their way home they picked up Bobby who had been at the doggy hotel since before they left for New York. And somehow Tom was secretly happy that Bobby seemed to be just as excited to see him again, as he was to see her. He had arranged for someone to buy groceries and clean the house while they were gone. She was in charge of bringing Bobby in, who jumped excitedly up the stairs to the house. Using her key to open the door she let Bobby ran into the house, before she made her way down the stairs again.

“I’m going to check my mail.” She called out to Tom as she made her way to the house next door. Her home. She couldn’t help the shudder running over her body as she neared the building. Opening the door to go to the mailbox, she could already see Andrea coming down the stairs.

“Oh hey.” Andrea smiled as she spotted her.

“Hey.” She smiled quickly, turning her attention back to her mailbox.

“So… Are you okay?” Andrea asked. She was wondering what exactly had happened to her neighbour at the beginning of this week. And how exactly Tom Hiddleston was involved in this.

“I’m okay. Thank you. I’m just staying with a friend until everything is sorted out.”

“You mean your friend is Tom Hiddleston?” Andrea asked quietly. Rolling her eyes she turned around to face Andrea.

“I’ve known him since I was a kid. We grew up together. So yes I’m staying with him for a while.” She grabbed the bit of letters she had gotten in the last 2 weeks and smiled at Andrea.

“I hope you’ll be okay. I always had somewhat of a weird feeling with your…”

“Ex. My Ex.”

“Yeah.”

“I will be okay. Thank you Andrea.” She said with a little smile on her face, as she made her way to the house next door, where Tom was waiting for her.

“You could have gone in.” She chuckled.

“Wanted to make sure you’re safe.”

“I am. Thank you.” She smiled and walked past him into his house.

The next days flew by. Tom made a habit of having breakfast together with her, before she had to go to work. He even made her something for lunch one day.

“You’re like the perfect husband.” She had said as he took the container from him. Tom had laughed and flinched at the same time at her words.

“Maybe if we won’t find anyone until we’re 50 we should get married.” He had joked.

“Maybe.” She had winked, kissed his cheek and went out of the door to go to work.

Tom had met up with Luke and it looked like he would be a busy man in the next year. With the Loki series starting to shoot, and the movie they were in negotiations in right now, he’d be in the states for most of the year.

Something about the thought of leaving London made him sad. Sure he knew why. Because it would mean he wouldn’t be able to see her everyday. Not to have breakfast with her every day. Or for her to fall asleep in his arms when they watched a movie. He couldn’t risk loosing her again, when he was the one to leave this time.

Constance watched her friend as she was avoiding her gaze.

“I need details. You tell me you went to New York with him. And to Devon and nothing happened? Nothing?”

“What do you think would be supposed to happen?” She asked her friend.

“Oh I don’t know. From the way he was looking at you, when he picked you up for the ballet, I thought you would be sleeping with him by now.”

“What?”

“Oh come on. You can’t be that blind. That man is completely and utterly in love with you.”

She laughed.

“Right. Have you looked at him? And then looked at me? He’s way out of my league.”

“He doesn’t seem to me to be a guy that cares about stuff like that.” Constance said honestly. Looking up from the manuscript she was reading, she pursed her lips. No. Tom didn’t care about looks. Never had. Sighing she let her head fall down on her desk.

“You still deny that you feel more than friendship for him?” Constance asked.

“It’s complicated.” She groaned.

“No. It’s not. It’s obvious that you love him. But are you in love with him?”

Sighing she looked up at her friend who was staring expectedly in her face only to see her smile knowingly.

“See? Now go and tell him.”

Something was off when she got home after work. _Home_. She thought to herself. She had been living with Tom for more than a week now, and his house felt more like her home, than her apartment ever had.

“Tom?” She called out. Instead of Tom she heard the approaching paws of Bobby.

“Are you all alone here?” She asked as she knelt down to pet him, not really expecting an answer. She looked for her phone seeing the message from Tom informing her, that he had a meeting with Luke and wouldn’t be back home early.

“Seems like it’s only us tonight, Bobbers.” She smiled, taking her shoes off. Before she went further into the house she turned around and put the code into his security system, like he had shown her the week before. Just to be sure.

Tom stepped into his house close to midnight, being as silent as possible. He walked carefully up the stairs, checking by the guest bedroom, where his friend had been staying since she basically moved in. Not that he minded. Not at all. The door was open but nobody was in her bed. Frowning he walked towards his bedroom where the door was open. He heard a sob from his bed and saw her curled to a ball on his bed hugging his pillow.

“Oh Darling…” He whispered and was next to her in seconds, pulling her into his arms. She held on to him, like he was her life line. Which he was in some aspects.

“Shhh…” He whispered close to her ear. The longer he held her, the quieter her breathing got.

“I’m sorry.” She said quietly when she had calmed down a bit.

“What happened?” Tom asked, stroking her back.

“I fell asleep on the couch and had a nightmare. And then I went up, wanting to go to bed and I just felt so… alone.”

“You’re never alone.”

“I know. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not. You had been going through so much. It’s a wonder you’re here and as strong as you are. I admire you.”

“You have to thank my therapist too.” She chuckled, playing with the hem of his sleeve.

“But you do most of the work, Darling.”

“Thank you for being there for me. Always.” She said. Her heart beating faster, as Tom’s fingertips brushed over the exposed skin on her back.

“No need to thank me. That’s what I’m here for.” He said and didn’t stop himself, as he kissed her behind her ear.

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.” She cursed to herself. After her mini breakdown she had fallen asleep in Tom’s embrace, forgetting to set an alarm. She had a meeting at 10 am. And she was running late.

“Should I drive you?” Tom watched her as she put all the stuff together she would need for today.

“It’s faster by the tube. But thank you. I’m cooking something tonight by the way. I wrote a list if you don’t mind going to the shop.”

“I don’t.” He smiled as she rushed by him down the stairs. When he got down she was already putting on her shoes. She was wearing a white pencil skirt with a black blouse. As she bend down to put on her black high heels, Tom couldn’t help looking at her curves. She caught him starring at her ass as she turned around. He blushed but smiled at her. Maybe Constance was right after all.

“Okay. I’ll be back later today.”

“I’ll be here.” He promised. They looked at each other, lost in each others eyes for a moment, before she turned around and closed the door behind her. Tom let his head fall back to the wall behind him. _You are so stupid_ he thought to himself, as he kept bumping his head to the wall.

He heard a phone ring. Not his. Sighing he walked to where the noise was coming from grabbing her phone. He put some shoes on, grabbing his keys to run after her, when the door opened.

“Forgot my…” She started only to giggle.

“Phone.” He held her phone up. She walked over to him.

“Thank you.” She took the phone from his hands and got on her tiptoes kissing him on the lips quickly like it was the most normal thing to do. Looking up at his confused face she let her purse fall to the ground wrapping her arms around his neck, before he crashed his lips on hers. Both of them sighing as they deepened the kiss. She felt his arms around her, pulling her as close as humanly possible to him, as her hands wandered in his hair, pulling him down to her.

Hard breathing they parted, looking into each others eyes, the biggest and goofiest smiles sneaking to their faces. Her phone ringing in her hand let her jump and Tom chuckled.

“I.. I have to…” She stammered.

“I know.” He said smiling.

“Wait for me here.” She said, smiling herself.

“Right here?” He waited, gesturing down to the ground.

“You may walk around the house.” She said stepping closer to him.

“Thank god.” He laughed. She put his hand on his chest, getting on her tiptoes and softly kissing him again, before she turned around and left the house. With the biggest smile on her face.


	12. Chapter 12

Constance knew something was up with her friend as soon as she spotted her in the meeting room. She saw her looking down at her phone, before the grin got even wider. Yeah. Something was definitely up.

“What’s up with all of this today?” Constance asked as they were walking out to have lunch hours later.  
“Meaning…?” She asked.  
“That grin. Did you tell him finally?”  
“Not exactly…” She said after a while. They kept walking towards the little bakery they usually bought their lunch.  
“Jesus… Spill it already!” Constance demanded, making her laugh.  
“I kinda… Accidentally kissed him before I went to work?” She looked at her friend biting her lip.  
“How.. Wha… I need more.” Constance looked at her confused.  
“I had a nightmare and Tom wasn’t home last night and I kinda lost it. Crying and all. When he got home he found me in his bed sobbing and comforted me. We both fell asleep but I forgot to set an alarm. I had to get ready within 20 minutes. I was already out when I noticed I forgot my phone and ran back where Tom was on his way out to give it back to me. And I just.. I just kissed him. I didn’t even think about it properly. It just felt… right.” She shrugged her shoulders.  
“And?” Constance smirked blinking at her.  
“I really can’t wait for this day to be over Constance.” She sighed.  
“Fucking finally.” Constance shook her head laughing.

Tom felt like he was walking on air. He couldn’t focus on anything for more than 15 minutes. His thoughts always drifted back to the way her lips felt on his. He had already been out with Bobby twice, went to get some groceries and he had answered all of his emails. She was supposed to be home in the next 10 minutes if nothing went wrong. But apparently they weren’t lucky like that.

Duchess  
Running late. That meeting is taking forever. Will be at least another hour. Start dinner without me? X

He read her message smiling.  
Tom  
Take your time. Dinner will be waiting for you when you get home

It was almost 8 pm when she finally walked down the familiar path to Tom’s house. She heard the loud music from outside. Opening the door she put her things down, finally getting out of the heels she had been wearing the whole day and made her way towards the delicious smell coming from the kitchen.  
She felt Bobby next to her as she walked through the door. Bending down to welcome her most favourite dog, she stroked him behind his ears before she straightened up again. Tom turned around as she got up, smiling softly at her.  
“I like that song.” She said sheepishly.  
“I know.” He said, strolling towards her. Mouthing the lyrics, he pulled his arm around her waist, taking her hand into his and began dancing. Laughing she shook her head, burying her face in his chest, her hand wandering up to rest on his shoulder. He kept her in his arms until she looked up. Her hand wandering up in his neck as she smiled softly at him. How could she have been so blind? When what she always wanted had been in front of her for so long? Tom let go of her hand, putting it to his neck as his cupped her cheek.  
“Honey, you’re familiar, like my mirror years ago…” He sang lowly smiling down at her.  
“Idealism sits prison, chivalry fell on it’s sword” She sang grinning.  
“Innocence died screaming, honey ask me I should know” He laughed.  
“I slithered here from Eden just to sit outside your door” They both sang smiling before Tom bend down to finally kiss her. She sighed as their lips met. Smiling she parted her lips for him, as his hand moved down her back resting just over the curve of her bum, pushing her into him as he still slowly swayed them to the music. She sighed as his tongue danced with hers. Her fingers playing with the hairs in his neck.  
“I…” Tom began, to be interrupted by her finger on his lips, shushing him.  
“Let’s eat first. Then talk.” She smiled. Sighing he nodded, kissing her finger on his lips.

After eating the dinner Tom had cooked she had changed into a loose maxi dress. Tom was waiting with a glass of wine in his hand for her on his terrace. She sat down on the lounger next to him, letting him wrap his arms around her, as she drank some wine.  
“I wasn’t planing all this this morning you know…” She said after a while.  
“I was.” Tom admitted, making her turn her face towards him.  
“You did?” She asked. Smiling he nodded.  
“I’ve been meaning to tell you for a while. I just had no idea when. Or how. And I didn’t wanted to destroy what we have…”  
“Tom. I’ve been in love with you since I was 14 years old.” She admitted biting her lip.  
“What?” He asked surprised.  
“I didn’t know at the time obviously. But I knew the day you stood outside the house the day my Mum died, without even knowing. How you just came all the way back in the middle of the week…” She nibbled on her lip.  
“I didn’t know…” Tom whispered surprised.  
“Me neither.” She giggled.  
“I’ve been meaning to tell you for weeks how I feel about you. But with you coming out of such a long and… let’s say complicated relationship… I never found the right moment.”  
“I think this is the moment, Tom.” She smiled, pulling her knees up and turning her body towards him completely. He took her hands into his and looked into her eyes.  
“I’m in love with you, my Duchess.” He finally said, feeling like a weight has been put off his chest as his mouth broke into the widest smile she had ever seen on his face.  
“I love you too.” She returned the smile, leaning towards him to kiss him.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Tom asked as they got ready to go to bed.  
“To bed?” She asked walking into the guest room. Pursing his lips Tom thought about what to say next. He wanted her to sleep next to him. In his arms. If he had it his way, they would never sleep without each other ever again.  
He was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t see her until her arms were around his neck.  
“I can hear you thinking Hiddleston.” She grinned. He bit his lip and sighed.  
“This is awkward…” He said after a while. She narrowed her eyes.  
“You’re my best friend. But you’re also my…” They hadn’t talked about it. Was she his girlfriend? He wanted it so badly. He wanted her never leaving his side again. He…  
“Girlfriend?” She asked smiling widely up at him. He nodded.  
“Do you want me to be?”  
“More than anything in the world. I want to tell everyone who wants to hear it, or who doesn’t I don’t care, that you’re mine.” He said honestly.  
“Then do it, and I’ll do the same.” She breathed.  
“It won’t be easy. With all the fans and the press and…” She put her finger up to shush him yet again.  
“I don’t care. I love you. You won’t get rid of me that easily. I have been through way worse.”  
“I know. I’m just…”  
“Scared? Me too. All of this is scary. We are best friends. How do we keep that part but also progress into our relationship? Because I want that. So bad. I want to be with you.” She said. Tom smiled hearing her words.  
“One step at a time? Starting with you moving your stuff from the guest room into my room.” He said.  
“Is that so?”  
He nodded.  
“I don’t sleep just with any guy on our first night, you know?” She bit her lip, teasing him.  
“It’s not our first night…” He said, picking her up. She wrapped her legs around his hips as he began to walk towards his bedroom, kissing her.  
“No… No it’s not…” She groaned as his lips wandered from her lips, down her jaw to her neck, as he closed to door of his bedroom with a kick.

Neither her nor Tom could hide anything very well. So when his best friend and wife came over on Sunday with both of their kids, they grew suspicious very quickly.  
“Did you move in?” Ben asked, as she opened the door for them.  
“Nice to see you to, Benedict.” She rolled her eyes, but smiled as he kissed her cheek, before she hugged Sophie and helped her with the kids.  
“Where’s Tom?” Ben asked.  
“He’s still upstairs. Showering.” She said walking towards the kitchen. Ben looked at his wife grinning as he pointed to Tom’s socks The Duchess was wearing.  
“We’re not too early aren’t we?” Sophie asked as they sat down.  
“No… We kinda forgot the time yesterday and only got to bed in the early morning hours.” She explained, putting water on.  
“Interesting…” Ben grinned.  
“Yeah we rearranged Tom’s closet. That man has to many clothes.”  
“Oh tell me about it. Ben has more clothes than me.” Sophie laughed.  
“I do not.” Ben said.  
“Oh Darling… It’s perfectly fine that you’re a little fashionista.” Sophie winked at him. Ben shook his head laughing.

“I hope you are okay. Tom told me a little about what happened to you the day you got back from New York.” Ben said after they all were sitting with their cups of tea. She sighed.  
“I am. Thank you. I am working through it still. But Tom’s been a big help.”  
“You’re staying here for the moment?” Sophie asked.  
“Actually she’s moving in.” They heard Tom say from the door. They turned around as he was walking towards them.  
“I mean I have been spending more time here than in my apartment next door anyway. And… those walls hold so many memories I don’t want to have to relive…” She explained. Ben and Sophie nodded.  
Tom fixed himself a cup of tea. Ben observed his friend. He looked relaxed and happy as he kept glancing towards the table they were all sitting at.  
“Also gives you more time to search for something new. The market in London is insane if you’re looking for something to rent.” Sophie chipped in.  
“Yeah… I don’t know if I will be searching for something else though. I like this place. A lot.” She smiled. Tom finally sat down at the table, putting his arm around the chair she was sitting in.  
“You’re not leaving this house ever again.” Tom said as he looked at her. Only yesterday they had decided, that they had lost time enough. Within 3 days they had gone from best friends, to lovers, to basically moving in together.  
She would sell the apartment. They already started rearranging the big closet in Toms… their bedroom.  
“I am still allowed to go to work, yes?” She grinned at Tom.  
“Only for work.” He agreed, closing the distance between them to kiss her softly.  
“Fucking Finally!” Ben sighed over the table, making his wife chuckle.  
“Congratulations!” Sophie grinned.  
“Yes! It’s about time.” Ben smiled at them. She was leaning with her head on Tom’s shoulder who lovingly looked down at her. Seeing his friend finally so happy, made Ben even happier. He had to endure so much crap in the last years. And Benedict was positive, that this right here, would be the start of something new. Something better. Something both of the people sitting in front of him deserved more than any other on this planet.


	13. Chapter 13

Epilogue

6 months later

“You did this all by yourself?” Emma asked shocked.  
“Well I have a lot of free time since your brother left to shoot the Loki series.” She grinned.  
“Does he know?”  
“I don’t think so. But I told him this needed some updating. It just didn’t fit with the rest of the house. He put so much time and effort in the design of the house, that it kinda got lost in the garden.”  
“You love it here, don’t you?” Emma asked, as they put the finishing touches to the big table outside. Tom was supposed to be home for 4 days and the Duchess had planned a little welcome home party with all of his friends and family.  
“It’s perfect. I can’t believe this is my life now. With a house, a dog and my best friend who is also the love of my life.”  
“You deserve it more than anyone after what you’ve been through.” Emma smiled.  
“Yeah.” She agreed.  
“How was the trial? It was last week, wasn’t it?”  
“He’s gonna leave the country next week and he’s not allowed to contact me ever again or he will go to jail immediately.” She explained. Seeing her Ex last week in the court room had been one of the most difficult things she ever had to endure. Not long after she had moved in with Tom last year, she had informed herself of charity’s against domestic violence. She quickly found out, talking about it, made it easier for her, even if she could never do it without crying. Tom had helped her every step of the way. She fell even more in love with him during that time.  
Luke had been a big help for her too. With his contacts she had reached out to a couple of Charities and was now working with two of them closely and as involved as possible in helping other survivors.  
Tom and her couldn’t hide being in a relationship for long. They only made it three weeks, before a paparazzi had taken pics of them walking Bobby in the park, arm in arm they had sat on a bench, making out like teenagers as Bobby played with a pile of leaves.  
He had taken her on a premiere the week after that and just so, she had snapped Tom Hiddleston off the market, like his fans put it.  
Christmas had been a blast. It had been her first Christmas in 20 years with the Hiddleston’s. And her first Christmas in a long time with a real family. It had brought her to the edge of tears the whole time his family was over. She hadn’t felt this loved in a long time. Tom’s gift for her had been perfect too.  
“How is Bobby holding up with his new companion?” Emma asked.  
“Bobby and Jody are adorable together. Bobby is very protective over her.” She watched as both dogs ran through the garden, playing together. She couldn’t believe how much Jody had grown since Christmas.

The garden party was in full swing when she finally got the text from Tom that he would be there in five minutes. He had left for LA 2 months ago and he would stay in LA for 6 months more, before he would be home for good. It had been weird in the beginning. Coming home after work, without him being there. Thankfully she had the two dogs to keep her company. And once spring rolled around, she made it her duty, to take care of their garden. Their… She still had to smile at the thought that this was now their house. Not his. It had never been this way for her in her last relationship. Everything was either his or hers. Never theirs.  
She had put much effort in the garden. Planting new Flowers. Taking care of the lawn. Cutting down some trees. She even was thinking about adding a pool, but she would have to talk to Tom about that first.  
She saw the Taxi driving down the street, stopping in front of the house. She saw him talking to the driver, before he got out, stretching himself. The driver helped him with his big suitcase and Tom thanked him as he paid. Looking at his house, he felt the stress of the last week disappearing. Somewhere within these walls was the love of his life. And even if he only has 5 days with here (he was able to take one day more off), he would make the most out of it. Opening the gate in the fence, he dragged his suitcase behind him, as he looked around. There were new flowers planted everywhere. There even was a stone figurine he couldn’t quite make out, because it was dark already.  
“You like it?” He heard her voice. Looking at her was like a breath of fresh air. There she was, leaning on the porch wearing a sweater dress with some leggings underneath. Her hairs in waves framing her face. She wasn’t wearing her glasses today. And she was smiling at him.  
“It’s beautiful. Did you do that?”  
“All by myself.” She stated proudly.  
“You’re kidding.” He said.  
“You should see our actual garden. I even planted some vegetables.”  
“I don’t deserve you.” Tom smiled, walking up the stairs, to stand in front of her.  
“You might be right about that.” She agreed, looking up at him. It was weird seeing him with dark hair standing in front of her. She was getting major Loki vibes. Reaching up, she ran a hand though his shoulder length raven hair.  
“I missed you.” Tom whispered, his hand touching her cheek.  
“Missed you too.” She whispered back, touching his cheek, before she got on her tiptoes to kiss him softly. Smiling against each others lips they hugged tightly, forgetting that they were standing outside for the world to see.  
Tom kissed her nose and her forehead, before he kissed the top of her head, as she buried her face in his chest, inhaling his scent.  
“How many people are in there?” Tom asked after a while.  
“Only your sister, your Mum and some friends.”  
“Good thing I’m staying a day more then.”  
“You are?” She smiled up at him.  
“I need to spend as much time with you alone as possible, before I have to get back to LA. I need some quality Duchess time.” He chuckled.  
“That can be arranged.” She grinned.  
“I’m so glad I found you in that bookshop down the street last year.” He said.  
“Me too.” She whispered, kissing his heart above his shirt as she took his hand and pulled him inside their house, where all their friends were waiting.


End file.
